


How Long Will I Love You

by elysianaurora



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Single Parent, Fluff, I promise, I will update these tags as i go maybe, It's not a dark fic, M/M, Mentions of alcohol, Mentions of drugs, Mentions of homophobia, Parent!Ian, Parent!Mickey, Pining, Single Parent AU, Slow burn but not very slow, Smut, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:34:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 32,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24138196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elysianaurora/pseuds/elysianaurora
Summary: Ian Gallagher had spent the last four years trying to keep everything stable; his meds, his job, his home, all for the sake of his daughter. When the captivating single dad of the new kid at his daughter’s school waltz into their lives Ian has to choose what’s best for his daughter but when the heart wants what it wants, Gallaghers fall irrevocably in love.
Relationships: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Comments: 114
Kudos: 238





	1. You Tell Me

**Author's Note:**

> The Single-Parent AU no one asked me to write. This is the light version. When I was trying to decide among the numerous drafts of fics I have started over the years that are just sitting in my Google Docs, I came up with two alternatives to this AU. A light and a dark. This is the light one as requested to be the first posted on twitter.
> 
> Title of the fic: Ellie Goulding - How Long Will I Love You. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy and embark on yet another journey with me. I don't know how long this is going to be or when we will see the end but I hope you come along for the ride. I hope you are all staying safe and practicing the necessary protocols during this time. 
> 
> Don't forget, you can always leave me a comment if you have any ideas or msg me on twitter @eiysianaurora  
> Okay I'll stop babbling now and get on with it.

_ *Present Day* _

It seemed like it only took one minute for a seemingly good day to turn into Ian’s worst nightmare. He’d worked a long grueling twenty-four hour shift for the first time in a month and it was all because his coworker asked for a favour and Ian decided he’d do his friend a solid and take the extra shift in the case that Ian might need said friend to cover for him in the future. He had gotten out of the fire station after attending to a ten car pile up on the I-90, at 7:00 am. Just enough time to pick his daughter Zoey up from his sister Fiona’s place and get her to school before heading home to take a much needed rest. 

That was usually how days he worked night shifts went, he’d work his long hours making sure to stay as focused on the job as possible, get off with enough time to spare to make sure he saw his princess smile as he watched her run into school and then crash helplessly on his bed before he had to be up later in the day to pick her up from school. 

When he’d gotten to Fiona’s, they were all running later than usual, which meant he was running later than usual and ended up facing the brunt of the morning traffic for an hour and a half just to get to the kindergarten. He reluctantly pried his daughter’s clenched fists from his shirt, kissed her forehead and promised her he’d be there when the bell rang to pick her up. After being stuck for another hour in bumper to bumper traffic, he finally made it to their townhouse on the outskirts of the Southside and collapsed into his mattress. Letting his eyes shut against their will and the much needed sleep settle over him. His biggest mistake so far of the morning was forgetting to set an alarm to go get Zoey. At 2:05 pm Ian woke up in a sweat and confusion grabbing at his phone to see he was already five minutes late to get his little girl.

He all but ran out of bed, throwing on the nearest pair of sweats and t-shirt before hopping into his car to face the afternoon traffic. He ended up stuck behind someone who was just fucking parked in the middle of the street, until the motherfucker moved his ass off to the side.

His phone began buzzing against the passenger seat and Ian spared a split second to see who was calling. Zoe _y’s school._ He briefly considered not answering since he was only two blocks away but that parent instinct Fiona keeps telling him he has started nagging at his insides and he grabbed the phone hitting the answer button then the speaker, “Hello?”

“Mr Gallagher? This is Ms Gilbert, Zoey’s teacher,”

“Hey Ms Gilbert, I’m a block away. I ran a little late but I’m almost there. I’m so sorry to keep you back.”

“Okay, can you get here quickly? Zoey fell in the playground and she won’t stop crying, we think she might have a broken arm but we’re not sure.”

Ian’s stomach dropped and his mouth got dried, “I’ll be there in a minute.” Ian said not even bothering to listen if the teacher was saying anymore, he pressed the heel of his hand into the horn of the steering wheel and irritated the living fuck out of the driver in front of him until the guy pulled to the side so Ian could overtake. He was driving like an utter ass but he couldn’t care at that moment. His daughter was in trouble, she needed him. In the four years since he’s been raising her, he’s only ever felt this fear once when she had a fever of 104 and wouldn’t stop crying for the life of him. He slammed harshly on the brakes, setting the car in park as soon as the car pulled up in front of the school.

Worry coursed through Ian’s bones as he slammed the car door shut and urged his legs to move faster. He felt his pulse thrumming against his cheeks as his blood pumped and his heart hammered within his rib-cage. He was always thankful for his long legs that his little brother Liam told him made him a giraffe but at that moment his long limbs couldn’t seem to cover ground quickly enough to get closer to those loud heart wrenching screams. Ian hated that sound. Or at least he hated anything he had ever heard that sounded remotely similar to it. But her breathy wails and cries for ‘daddy’ were making his head feel like it was about to explode. This was his biggest nightmare. He never wanted anything bad to ever happen to his little girl. 

_ *Four years earlier* _

Fiona had just been turning in from a long shift at the club. The sun was already high in the sky getting set for a sweltering day as she lazily trudged her way around the living room picking up all the loose crayons and scraps of paper Liam left lying around. The kids would be down in a couple minutes in time for their last day of school and she knew she needed to get lunch ready to send them off before they missed the bus. She tiredly made her way to the kitchen sink where she splashed her face with some cold water before hiking her hair up in a high ponytail. 

She glanced at the well-used calendar taped to the fridge taking note that the electric bill needed to be paid by the day after or they’d be cut off and Ian had an appointment at the clinic that afternoon. Her mind momentarily settled on her second youngest brother who wasn’t so little anymore. She hoped she’d be able to get him out of bed and to his doctors today on time or maybe they’d end up going at each other’s throats until he gave up the fight and they strolled into the clinic a half an hour late but there nonetheless. She mindlessly slaps some sandwiches together as she thinks about how hard the year has been for Ian. He'd finally gotten his grades up and was well on his way to graduating high school when one day he just left. He’d disappeared for months until the second oldest Gallagher, Lip had found him grinding on laps for twenty five dollars a dance, at that seedy gay club in Boystown. 

After months of trying to piece together what had happened to her brother she had come to the conclusion that his high school sweetheart and him didn’t end so well and he took off. He used Lip’s social security number and identity before he joined the army. He was manic for the first time and went AWOL. When they found him, coked out until he couldn’t remember his name, they brought him home and helped him sober up but that wasn’t the end of things. Ian didn’t leave bed for more than two weeks until he was running around again being reckless. They all tried talking to him but there was one thing Fiona said that made her redheaded brother stop and actually listen. “You’re turning into Monica and the kids are scared.” That was how he’d committed himself voluntarily to a psych ward where he made a conscious effort to put the pieces of his life back together. 

He was medicated and he’d met a half decent guy Caleb who had pushed Ian toward becoming an EMT. Fiona had thought all was good and she couldn’t be happier that Ian had finally had a stable relationship. That was until Caleb cheated. She’d lived in constant fear that Ian would spiral again and he wouldn’t be able to pull himself out of it another time. He surprised her though. Ian had gone to therapy more often after the break up, he’d started spending more time around his family and he’d emerged himself in trying to move up in his job. He’d taken the necessary exams and became a certified paramedic. She couldn’t be more proud but she knew the past week had been tough for him and he’d been wearing himself thin with long shifts. So he’d promised he’d go to the clinic to see if his meds needed adjusting. But he wouldn’t be Ian if he didn’t put up a fight and be a little stubborn about it. 

Just as she was about to slip out of her unzipped skin tight dress from the night before, and into something comfy that was folded on the washer she heard a loud banging on the front door. “Coming,” she called.

She slipped the dress off and hurriedly pulled an oversized t-shirt over her head that she was one hundred percent sure wasn’t even hers. She tripped on her way through the living room on a haphazardly thrown boot and stuffed elephant. The banging persisted and she threw the elephant into the closet. “Jesus Christ! I’m coming!” she yelled. 

By the time she’d gotten to the front door and yanked it open she was greeted by the early morning streets of the Southside that were quiet except for the hum of life down the block. No one in sight. “What the fuck?” She muttered taking a step forward to see if any of the neighbourhood kids were playing a prank when her feet kicked at something hard and a soft gurgle noise came from below. She looked down and immediately froze at the sight of a pale, freckled newborn baby sitting in a box swaddled in a light pink blanket, an envelope sitting across her tiny body with the name  _ Ian  _ printed in thin cursive. “Fuck.”

She scooped the baby and the letter up in her arms as she descended the stairs out into the yard with the burning concrete piercing a stinging heat through the soles of her bare feet. She looked up and down the street but was only greeted by a few neighbourhood kids riding their bikes. She sighed loudly looking down at the almost newborn in her arms and then deciding to head inside out of the sweltering heat.

“Who the fuck was banging on our door?” Fiona heard Lip ask as she entered through the front door already hearing the bustling of her siblings in the kitchen. She stepped around the foyer wall and into the living room, taking a deep breath before heading into the kitchen. No one seemed to be paying much mind to her until she cleared her throat loudly causing all five heads to turn toward her. 

“What the fuck is that?” Carl asked. Fiona’s face was pale and her heart was palpitating as she turned toward Ian who was still standing at the foot of the stairs. She held the letter out to him as she held the baby closer to her chest. “You tell me.”

_ *Present Day* _

Ian almost tumbled face first into the kindergarten’s school yard as he ran over towards his daughter and the crowd that had gathered around her. From a distance he could see a brunette man crouched down with Ian’s tiny four year old daughter in his lap trying to comfort the screaming child. A few other parents were hovering with one hand on their mouths and the other on the top of their unharmed child’s head. Ian could see Ms Gilbert trying to console his child but Zoey wasn’t having it. She was screaming at the top of her lungs, “I want my daddy.” her tiny hand was white knuckled as it gripped tightly to the red flannel shirt of the man whose lap she sat in and as Ian drew closer he could hear the man’s voice trying to calm her. He only had eyes for one person though.

“I’m here, Zoey, I’m here,” Ian called as he collapsed beside his daughter.“I’m so sorry I’m late,” he muttered when he saw her reddened face wet with tears, “It’s okay, baby. I’m here.” Ian whispered as he got to her wrapping an arm around her waist and lifting her body against his. 

In his peripheral, he noticed the pale masculine hands with the word FUCK tattooed onto the fingers rubbing soothingly up and down his daughters hand. He looked up into the crystal blue eyes of the stranger who was just holding his daughter. The stranger his daughter was still clinging too while her other hand grabbed onto Ian’s own shirt.

“What happened?” Ian asked, coldly. 

“She was running and her shoe laces got untied. She tripped. I was just over on the benches over there,” the man said in a calm soothing voice that still sounded rough around the edges as he pried the little girl’s hands from his shirt noticing the look in Ian’s eyes, “I thought she may have broken her arm but it seems fine. She’s just bruised up.” Ian then took a moment to assess the damage of his still crying baby girl. 

“It’s okay, baby. Your arm isn’t broken. I’m gonna take you back to the car and we’ll get you all cleaned up.” Ian said softly as he rocked his child’s frail frame against his chest, “you’re gonna be good won’t you, Zo?” 

She sniffled and nodded before wiping her face into his soft T-shirt. “She’s a strong girl.” The stranger said smiling easily at Zoey. “A little girl that strong deserves ice cream,” the blue eyed man teased, still running a hand up and down Zoey’s freckled arm. The other parents dispersed themselves leaving Ms Gilbert and a little blond boy who hovered behind the man. The more Ian looked, he figured the boy was the man’s son, they looked so much alike. 

She giggled a little between sniffles as she turned to look through her eyelashes at the man with a friendly smile on her face. “That sounds like a plan. What do you say, sweet pea?” Ian asked. She nodded enthusiastically as she climbed out of Ian’s embrace she tugged at her messed up French braid causing Ian to smile affectionately. “Let’s get your elbow and knees cleaned up.” Ian wiped an almost dry tear from her cheek before he stood up and took her hand. 

“Thank you,” He said turning toward the other man, “it could have been worse and it’s good that you were there. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you around.” Ian said giving the man a once over. He was an incredibly good looking man, with black hair pushed back, and piercing blues that contrast well with the loose fitting red shirt he wore.

“Ah...probably not. We’re new around here,” he smiled as his hand reached down and ruffled the hair of the blond boy who leaned against his leg.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Ian Gallagher and this is Zoey.” Zoey smiled through her drying tears and waved politely.

“Mickey Milkovich,” The little boy looked up shyly before looking away entirely, “he takes time to warm up.”

Ian smiled knowing all too well what that’s like and not from his very outgoing daughter but his quieter more reserved little brother. He stooped to the shaggy haired boy smiling, “Hi, Ian. What’s your name?” 

The kid turned his face rubbing it into the leg of his father before turning back and shyly mumbling, “Nicolas Axl Milkovich.” in that way kids do.

“Well, Nicolas, what do you say about joining us for ice cream?” Ian asked, “Would you like that?” Mickey looked down at his son looking for an answer he knew he probably won’t get before nodding.

“That’ll be nice.” 

  
  
  



	2. I Don't Want Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian took his eyes off the kids and looked at Mickey’s profile as the sun began glowing behind him through the glass window of the shop. He couldn’t ignore how beautiful the other man was. “What about you? What do you do?”
> 
> “I’m an IT specialist with Envision Medical labs, I worked in the Michigan branch so I just got a transfer.” Mickey said scooping a spoonful of melted ice cream into his mouth. Some of the melted creamy liquid caught on his bottom lip before he licked it clean. Ian looked away quickly hoping he wouldn’t be caught.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the positive feedback on chapter 1. It really means the world. I've been trying to immerse myself in writing this week to distract myself from the many feelings I have been feeling about Corey La Barrie's death. (The YouTuber who died in the car accident if you didn't know) It's very difficult when someone you've supported for years passes away. 
> 
> I'm going to try to update this as often as I can manage since I'm still at home and won't be returning to campus until September. I do have finals online =( But I want to write as much as I could.
> 
> I hope you all are staying safe. Thanks to all you essential workers who've been on the front line. I hope you all enjoy the chapter and where this story goes.

_ *Four years ago _ **_*_ **

“You tell me.” 

Well, if Ian really could, he would.

Ian furrowed his brow taking the letter from her sister’s grasp. “I found her on our doorstep in a box. Someone just left her.” Fiona said, as Debbie stood up and strained her neck to get a look at the little girl. Fiona brushed a hand over the baby’s forehead as she started fussing before she pushed the white hat off revealing a thin tuft of red hair. 

“What the fuck? I thought you were gay!” Carl said from the sidelines as Ian tore the envelope open. 

> _ “ _ _ Ian, I’m not sure if you remember me at all but we met on the L about nine months ago. We hooked up at my place and well as you can tell, you knocked me up. I never wanted this and I can’t take care of a baby. I thought you should have a say in this. It’s up to you. You aren’t obligated to keep her but I just thought you deserved to know about her and see her. I’m sorry for doing this, Talia. _ _ ” _

“Fuck,” Ian muttered. Of course, the one time. The one fucking time Ian decided to sleep with someone of the opposite sex,and not enjoy it by the way, if the one time he knocked them up. He doesn’t even remember cumming. 

“It can’t be,” Lip said looking at Ian. 

“It has to be. She’s the only girl I’ve ever had sex with.” 

“Would either of you like to tell me what the fuck you’re talking about?” Fiona asked, raising her voice slightly causing the child to start crying. Ian instinctively reached for her taking the sobbing baby against his chest. 

“Fuck, When Caleb and I broke up, he made some comments about me not having experience being with a woman. How I...how I could know I’m 100% gay if I’ve never experienced it. So I…I met her on the L and it just happened.” 

“How do we know if it’s even yours?” Carl asked. Fiona looked down at the child who had fallen asleep against Ian’s chest. 

“I think it’s pretty obvious,” Fiona said, “I’ll go change and we can go drop her off at the fire station.” 

“What? What do you mean drop her off at the fire station? Why would I do that?” Ian asked incredulously.

“Ian. You can’t take care of this baby. It’ll be too much to handle, you just got your meds back on track. I can’t raise another kid, I won’t raise another kid,” Fiona said, her voice softening.

“I’m not going to just dump her off at the station, Fiona. I’ll go talk to her mom. I...I can handle it.”

Ian then went up the stairs to change before heading out to Talia’s apartment. He barely remembered how to get there and by the time he climbed the steps to the red brick apartment building his body felt drained from the walk over since he was still adjusting to his meds and his arm ached as it carried his little brother’s old car seat with a sleeping baby in it. When he knocked against the door a couple times and no one came out Ian was all but ready to turn on his heels and head back home to figure out what he was going to tell Fiona. When he reluctantly turned on his heels, the door swung open to reveal a teary eyed tanned skinned girl that Ian had almost forgotten existed, “Talia.”

“Shit, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that the way I did,” she burst out. The neighbour across the hall yanked his door open to see who was making noise and Talia shrunk under his gaze, “Come in, we can talk inside.”

Ian shrugged and stepped inside, placing the car seat onto the dining table and plopping down into one of the hard wood chairs, “Why didn’t you tell me? Before or something. I mean you managed to find me now so why didn’t you find me when you found out?”

“I didn’t know if you were the dad.” she said looking down at the table, her eyes careful not to land on their daughter, “It was either you or my ex-boyfriend, and he’s black so...I know she’s yours.”

The apartment remained silent until the baby stirred beginning to cry loudly. Ian shot up from his seat unbuckling her and holding her close to his chest. “I figured you’d show up here, so I signed these.” Talia then shoved a brown envelope across the table.

“What’s that?” 

“I’m relinquishing my rights to her. You can sign and put her up for adoption or you can file them with just my signature and she’d just be yours. I’m...I’m leaving for Florida in the morning. I’m going to stay at my mom’s.”

“I can’t do this. I’m bipolar. I just got diagnosed.” Ian said softly looking out the window while he subconsciously bounced to keep the baby quiet.

“You don’t have to. You can sign the papers.” 

“How could you just walk away like this?”

“I don’t want her.”

Ian huffed, turning on his heels to place the now sleeping child into the carrier. He buckled her in grabbed the envelope and the car seat and hightailed the fuck out of there with a racing heart and a spinning head.

He kept walking until he was far enough and was standing across the community park where a couple kids were playing. Ian set the car seat down beside him on a bench as he sat and looked at the kids throwing a football around. It feels like not so long ago he was one of those kids. He was twenty-three years old and he still felt like a fucking kid. He looked down at the sleeping baby and something inside him stirred. Her little nose scrunched up and her hand gripped a little tighter to the pale pink blanket. It was that moment that Ian realised that he made her. He’s her dad and he couldn’t just give her up and not know what happens to her. Because what if something really fucking terrible happens, he wouldn’t know where to find her, he wouldn’t be there to protect her.

His walk back home was a much calmer one, and by the time he climbed the rickety steps of the old Gallgher house he knew he’d made up his mind. He needed to get better and for months he’d been searching for a reason to do just that, and somehow the universe opened up and dropped that reason on Ian’s front steps and he wasn’t about to just give it away. When he made it inside his siblings were mostly gone except for Debbie and Fiona who were hanging around the kitchen. “What did she say?” Fiona immediately asked as she saw him, her face falling seeing him still carrying around the baby. He placed the car seat down onto the table where Debbie immediately began unbuckling the sleeping baby to cuddle her.

  
“Doesn’t matter,” Ian shrugged his jacket off and went to the fridge.

“What do you mean it doesn’t matter?”

“Doesn’t matter, because I’m keeping her.” He took a Gatorade out of the fridge cracking the seal and taking a long drink. Fiona sighed exasperatedly, “Ian.”

“I can’t do it Fiona. I can’t. She’s mine. I’ll move out, get my own place, might take me a couple weeks because I haven't picked up any shifts lately but my meds are evening out again, I can go back to work on Monday. You don’t have to worry about raising another kid.”

“You don’t have to move out, that’s not what I meant.”

“No, but you were right, if I’m going to do this, I can’t expect you to do it for me. I need to do this for myself. I’ll figure it out.”

“Are you sure about this, Ian?” Fiona looked more tired than usual and Ian knew that was probably his fault.

“More sure than I’ve ever been about anything, Fi.”

“I’ll help you, Ian.” a sixteen year old Debbie smiled while she rocked the sleeping baby. 

“Thanks, Debs.”

Fiona sighed, walking over to Debbie and looking down at the little bundle of human, “She actually looks just like you did when Monica brought you home from the hospital. Okay, if you’re serious about this I’ll help as much as I could.” Ian’s lips split into a grin as he pulled Fiona into a tight hug.

“What are you going to call her?” Fiona asked.

“I don’t know, I haven’t thought about it.”

“Don’t you have a name you always imagined naming your kid one day?” Debbie asked with those big dream-filled eyes teenaged girls had before they found out the world wasn’t rainbows and unicorns. Ian then chuckled lowly remembering a conversation he’d had with Lip some years before he’d actually known he was gay. 

“Yeah actually, I used to tell Lip if I had a boy I’d name him Charlie and if I had a girl,” he looks at that freckled face and button nose once more feeling his stomach flip, “I’d name her Zoey .”

“Zoey Gallagher,” Debbie smiled.

“Nah....Zoey Fiona Gallagher.” Ian said looking into his big sister’s big brown eyes. Those hazel moons that were always filled with love.

“I like it.”

_ *Present Day* _

Zoey was more than tuckered out by the time they got home that evening, willingly eating her dinner and then letting her dad draw her a bath without a fight and then getting into her pajamas. It wasn’t long before she was being tucked under her Barbie blanket, with a kiss to her forehead and falling asleep. Ian couldn’t help but stand for a while looking at how peaceful she slept, never having to worry about drunk parents barging in or the electricity being shut off unexpectedly. Ian always made sure she had what he and his siblings didn’t have growing up. It’d the entire reason he worked as hard as he did and took overtime shifts whenever the opportunity arose. He sometimes finds it difficult to imagine that time in his life when he, for a brief second, thought he shouldn’t be a father. He’ll never forgive himself for ever thinking about giving his beautiful girl away.

He dragged himself to the kitchen being sure to pick up all the dirty dishes off the table and loading them into the old dishwasher before hopping into the shower to wash the day off. He found himself thinking about the man he’d spent the evening with around a pastel pink table in the middle of EB’s ice cream parlor. 

_ *Some hours before* _

The place Ian drove them all to, because Mickey and Nicolas didn’t have a car, was his and Zoey's favourite place. It was brightly coloured with grass painted along the border of the walls, with bunnies, birds and bees among the greens and flowers. 

As they stepped out of the car, Ian grabbed Zoey into his arms, throwing her up in the air a little before catching her again, “What are you feeling for Zo Zo Bear?” 

“Va-vallina.” She said confidently.

“Vanilla sounds great. What about you Nicolas? What are you in the mood for?” Ian asked, looking down at the shy boy who hid his face in Mickey’s pants. 

Mickey smiled tightly as he held the blond boy’s hand and followed Ian into the shop. Zoey Talked a lot, like she usually did, chatting a million miles per hour while Ian ordered their ice creams and collected them. Just as they shuffled to the top of the line to pay Ian could see Mickey digging his wallet out of his pocket, he handed over his card telling the lady softly to cash all four ice creams. When it was Mickey’s turn and the cashier smiled before waving him off with a “already paid for,” Mickey turned to Ian, “You didn’t have to do that.” 

“It’s the least I could do.”

“I didn’t even do anything anyone wouldn’t, man.”

“Still, I appreciate it.” Ian didn’t miss the slight blush that crept up Mickey’s neck and it’s only then did he really take another good look at the man. He was gorgeous, and Ian didn’t usually describe men as gorgeous. Mickey was rough around edges with his Fuck U-Up tattoos, that most people would look down their noses at but Ian was Southside and that shit was normal where he came from. He had the bluest eyes and these pink plump lips that definitely looked kissable. Ian shook his head a little of those thoughts because this was a stranger with a kid, he most likely was straight. Sure, Ian was a stranger with a kid who happened to be gay but he was a special case. He didn’t want to get thoughts that would spiral and make him ask something that would either embarrass him or make Mickey uncomfortable.

They all headed toward a booth that was closest to the tiny kids tables at one side of the room and Ian set the two kids in with their treats. He and Mickey took a bigger booth both sitting where they could watch the kids but still talk to one another. 

“How long have you guys been in Chicago?” Ian asked, breaking the silence.

“Only a couple weeks. This was Nico’s first week at the kindergarten,” Mickey smiled.

“It’s a nice place. They’re very pleasant and understanding people there.” 

“Yeah, they didn’t mind taking him, in the middle of October so I’m guessing they are nice.” 

“How old is he?” Ian asked. Mickey’s eyes looked down at his melting cup of dulce de leche, with a glint of something Ian couldn’t read in his eyes.

“He’s four.”.

“Oh,” Ian didn’t miss the look Mickey got in his eyes but he didn’t ask, “Big family?”

“Uh used to be. Now, it’s just us and my sister.” Mickey’s eyes settled on Nico again as the little boy cradled his chin in his hands as he listened intently to whatever Zoey was yammering about. 

“He’s a sweet kid, really quiet. Reminds me of how my little brother used to be. He didn’t like to talk, especially to strangers.” 

“Zoey doesn’t seem to have that problem.” Mickey pointed out. 

Ian chuckled as he looked at her animatedly gesturing with her hands and her face as she talked Nico’s ear off. “Yeah well she spends a lot of time with my big sister and she doesn’t know how to shut up. Plus I made the mistake of naming her after Fiona”

Mickey’s eyebrows furrowed, “Middle name.” Ian clarified.

“You work at the hospital or something?” Mickey asked, catching Ian off guard.

“No, well not really. I’m a paramedic.” 

“Makes sense. I just saw how you were with her when you were cleaning up her cuts and shit. Couldn’t tell if it was parents instinct or skill.”

Ian took his eyes off the kids and looked at Mickey’s profile as the sun began glowing behind him through the glass window of the shop. He couldn’t ignore how beautiful the other man was. “What about you? What do you do?”

“I’m an IT specialist with Envision Medical labs, I worked in the Michigan branch so I just got a transfer.” Mickey said scooping a spoonful of melted ice cream into his mouth. Some of the melted creamy liquid caught on his bottom lip before he licked it clean. Ian looked away quickly hoping he wouldn’t be caught.

“That’s nice. My brother designs the equipment they use over there. Wait, If Nico goes to school around here and you work all the way at EML where do you guys live?”

“We live about fifteen blocks from here. Commuting is shit for work but the money is really good.”

“You moved to Chicago and the place you chose to live is the Southside?” Ian asked with furrowed brows, “I’m not judging by the way, I’m Southside, born and raised.”

“Well,” Mickey kept his eyes locked on his son while he spoke, “I’m not exactly new around here. I grew up here. Moved to Michigan for a while and now I’m back.”

“You grew up here? No shit, maybe we went to high school together or something.”

“Probably.” Mickey said stiffly and Ian knew all too well that was the tell-tale sign for not wanting to talk about something.

“Well, if you ever wanna get together so the kids can play that’s fine by me, they seem to get along fine. Might be nice for Nico to have a friend.” Ian said with a gentle smile.

“Yeah, I’d like that. Might be the only way he could make a friend. As you can tell he doesn’t really talk much.” Mickey said gesturing toward the kid.

“Maybe that’ll change some day.” Just then the both kids came running over toward them. Ian reached out catching Zoey before she could fall again.

“Hey, you don’t wanna fall again, don’t run,” he said sternly.

“Sorry, dad. Can Nicky come over to watch the new Toy Story, dad?” she asked, pressing the palms of her hands into his leg, grinning up at him. Ian wasn’t surprised that she’d already found her own name for her new friend.

“Well, you have to ask his dad, but if he says yes, Nico can definitely come over.” Ian grinned right back poking her little freckled nose.

Zoey turned toward Mickey with the same brilliant smile, “Mr Mickey? Can Nicky come watch a movie at our house?”

Ian looked over to the other man, silently hoping he’d say yes because Ian doesn’t want to stop talking to him. 

“Uh, you can just call me Mickey,” he said clearly stalling his answer, “Tomorrow is actually my first day of work and I have some things I need to get sorted before then. I only work half day though, so maybe after, or Sunday...if that’s good for you.” 

Zoey looked a bit disappointed but she smiled and nodded looking back at her dad expectedly, “Guess we’re in luck, huh? I’ve got the whole weekend off so that shouldn’t be a problem. Why don’t you take my number and we could arrange a time,” Ian said, holding his phone out while chastising himself for looking for any opportunity to get the other man’s number.

Mickey took the phone in his hand and put his number in, before calling his own cell. “We gotta get going, but this was nice,” he looks down at Nico and nudges the boy, “Tell Ian and Zoey thank you for the ice cream.”

The shy boy looked down at the floor and then up through his eyelashes in the most adorable way possible, “Thank you.”

“That’s not a problem,” Ian smiled and he could already tell the little kid was winning his heart like most kids did.

“I guess I’ll see you then,” Mickey smiled making a move toward the door. Zoey grabbed Nico into a tight hug before he could run off behind his dad leaving the two redheaded Gallaghers watching fondly after the two Milkovich boys.

_ *Present* _

Ian thinks it’s absolutely ridiculous that he’s still thinking about Mickey with a stupid smile on his face when he slips into the bed that night. It’s got to be the fact that he hasn't really been with a guy in like three months, having been so busy with Zoey starting school and his job. Maybe it’s just that. Or maybe it’s because Mickey was just so easy to be around. 

When the morning came around the sun hadn’t gotten the chance to breach the spaces in his curtains yet, but there Zoey was standing beside the bed staring with her face close to her father's waiting until his instinct kicked in and he woke up. She didn’t have to wait long, his eyes fluttered open before being surprised at the proximity in which his daughter stood making him jump, “Zo, what have we said about doing that?”

“You said don’t wake you up before seven. I didn’t wake you up. I was just looking” 

Ian shot a glare at her sassiness before sitting up and wiping at his eyes, “Why are you up? It’s Saturday.”

“I want eggs.” she rocked on the balls of her feet looking at him. 

Ian made a gesture with his hand for her to lead the way. He stopped in the bathroom to take a piss before heading out to find her struggling to reach the eggs, “You’re going to pull the entire tray down on you.” he swooped in grabbing three and then shutting the fridge.

“What do you want to do today? We have to go over to Aunt Fi’s.”

He looks up from where he is mixing the eggs to see his daughter rocking on the balls of her feet like she’s deep in thought. It’s moments like this that makes it impossible for him to be mad that she woke him up before 7 am. “Uhhhhhh, Can we go to the park? I wanna swing swing swing,” her face lights up at the thought.

“It’s kind of early to go swinging don’t you think?” the eggs sizzle in the pot as he pops two pieces of bread into the toaster oven.

“Not now silly.” she laughs before skipping toward the breakfast nook leaving Ian wondering how he’s managed to have such a smart daughter.

When he sets the plates on the table he goes to his own seat beside her before she looks up at him with those big blue eyes, “What?”

“Syrup.” Ian shakes his head as he grabs the syrup from the kitchen and comes back to sit next to his daughter.

“I’ve really got to talk to your Uncle Lip for teaching you to put syrup on your eggs and bacon.”

“It’s yummy.” he lightly drizzles her food with the syrup, “Can Nicky come to the park with us? Pleeeeassse?”

“His dad has his first day of work today, Zo.”

“But it’s the weekend!” she whined, “call him, please. I wanna play with Nicky.”

Ian shook his head at how demanding she was, it really did remind him of both his sisters.

“I’ll send him a text but don’t be too upset if he says no...okay? And if he says yes, we’re going over to Aunt Fi’s for lunch first. I already told her we’re coming.”

“Okay.” she smiled like she had some idea of how much her dad was wrapped around her little finger.

**_Ian_ ** _ : This is Ian, I know it’s your first day of work but I’m taking Zoey to the park later today and she wants to know if you and Nico can come along.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos always welcomed.


	3. I Can't Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s got Mickey feeling completely stupid that he’s only met this guy twice now and he doesn’t want to live in a world where he can’t hear that sound again. It sounds just as good as his own son’s laugh. Mickey blinks rapidly and focuses his eyes again on where his son is standing a couple feet away with red cheeks and a smile on his face while the little redheaded girl whispers in his ears. It seemed as though the two Gallagher’s had easily won over the two Milkovich guys who Mandy claims “hates every living thing in the world beside each other”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, here's another update. Thank you so much for all the positive feedback on this story. 
> 
> I'm feel like i genuinely struggle to write kids so I hope I'm doing it justice enough that it doesn't come off cringey but cute. Thank you for continuing to read.
> 
> I hope everyone is staying safe. I don't know if where you live is opening back up but my country is and it's a bit unnerving ngl. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy and that this brings a little bit of joy to your quarantine/essential working.

By the time Mickey had gotten home after his first (half) day of work, he felt like he was dragging by his ass. Walking to and from the L with an overly curious kid who kept stopping to look at rocks, wasn’t easy. He had Nico’s backpack and his own messenger bag slung over his shoulder while he dug around in his pocket for their apartment key. Nico was dragging his feet still walking down the corridor toward their door. “Kid, you gotta keep up, stay where I can see you,” Mickey said glancing over at him. He loved the kid but damn was he slow at walking.

“I’m gett’n there,” he said, eventually meeting Mickey by the time the apartment door was unlocked and swinging open. 

“What do you want to do this afternoon?” Mickey asked setting their bags down on the floor beside the couch and heading straight to the kitchen because he was fucking hungry. 

“Sleeeeep” Nico dramatically whined as he kicked his shoes off and climbed up onto the couch without looking over at Mickey. 

Mickey picked his phone off the counter where he had forgotten it that morning, checking his messages. “Yeah? So maybe I should text Ian back and tell him we can’t meet them at the park.”

“What?” the little boy was suddenly bursting with life as he pushed off the couch running into the kitchen, “No, no no. Let’s go play.” Mickey laughed picking his son off the ground. There wasn’t anything he enjoyed more than seeing his son laugh. His big blue eyes came to life warming up in a way blue usually couldn’t and his cheeks with bunch beneath them framing those ocean like globes. It was loud unlike his usual personality and infectious and it kind of reminded Mickey of his own mother.

_ *Four Years Before* _

__

Life wasn’t supposed to go like this. Mickey wasn’t supposed to be in his current predicament, pacing the halls of a hospital with a racing heart. Every fibre of instinct in his body was telling him to make a run for it. To just get the fuck out of here and never look back. To do what his body had done every time he smelled trouble coming near. He couldn’t do that though because he’d somehow come to care for the woman in the next room. He’d come to actually worry about what his father would do once Mickey wasn’t around and this girl, this insanely powerful, bitchy but kind girl. 

For the last nine months, he’s been chastising himself for ever deciding it was okay to sleep with Mandy’s best friend all because he wanted Terry off his fucking back. Anna knows why he did it, and she doesn’t hold it against him but _ he _ does. Anna knows he’d be a dead man six feet under if they hadn’t done what they did. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t have flaunted the fact that they were “sleeping together” on the regular every time Terry seemed to be around, much to Mandy’s chagrin. 

“Where is she?” Mandy came hastily down the hall with wide eyes and makeup smudged a little too much on her face. “I came as fast as I saw your text.”

“She’s in there. I don’t know what’s happening. They just rushed me out after she had the kid. They said she was bleeding a lot.” his voice hadn’t even sounded like his own, it was too shaky and rough. “Did-did you tell anyone?” 

“No, dad was just getting in when I left. He’s fucking plastered.” 

He isn’t sure how long he and Mandy had sat there in those hard plastic waiting room chairs, but the moment the doctors opened the doors Mickey knew it wasn’t good news. There grim looks and downcasted eyes told enough. 

He held Mandy as best as he could and kept his own tears at bay, and he’d later walk to the NICU, while tears pricked his eyes and watched over the squirming red blob that was somehow his. 

“Would you like to hold him?” the nurse who had been in the delivery room asked. 

Before he could really answer he was being pushed into a chair and the squishy human was being placed in his arms. “Why is he in here? Is something wrong with him?”

“He’s a bit small, and had some complications with his lungs. Everything is stable now but we’re just keeping him for observations before we move him with the other babies.” she smiled gently as she tucked the blanket closer to the sleeping child. Mandy had come in not too long after placing a hand on her brother’s shoulder. Mickey hadn’t wanted this life. He hadn’t wanted a kid. But then Anna got pregnant, and his dad was insisting she’d come live with them and he’d spent every night of the last nine months falling asleep beside the woman who was carrying this baby, preparing himself for the day that this kid would be in the world. He realised in that moment with his son in his arms that he hadn’t really prepared himself.

“I can’t stay.” he says.

“I know.” Mandy set the bag she’d been carrying beside him on the floor, “It’s everything I could have gotten for you before I left. There’s some of Anna’s clothes too because I didn’t think she’d…” Mandy sniffled, “She wanted you all to leave when she had the baby. I didn’t think you’d be able to stay with him. Not with Terry around.”

The baby suddenly gurgled, drawing the attention of the Milkovich siblings. He had the tiniest smile that kinda looked familiar. “He kinda smiles like mom.”said Mandy

The minute the nurse had handed him the discharge papers two days later he’d left Chicago and never looked back. 

_ *Present Day* _

“You’re suddenly all good now huh? We can go as long as you promise to eat all your lunch,” Mickey looked up tilting his head and raising his eyebrows. Nico raised his own too in response before giggling.

“Yes, Dad. I’ll eat all my food.” 

“Do you have any homework?” Mickey isn’t sure if they give homework to kindergarteners but it’s worth the ask.

“Nope.” Nico plops his butt down onto the couch and starts fiddling with the shoe he’d just kicked off.

Mickey gets started on some sandwiches after he responds to Ian’s text while Nico sits with his shoes already back on his feet waiting patiently as he watches television. “Hey, Nibbles.” Mandy calls as she exits her room and passes by the couch. He giggles and grins before turning his attention right back to Spongebob. 

“Hey, Nico and I are heading out in a bit, you okay alone or do you wanna come with?” Mickey asks.

“I was fine on my own this morning when you left, I’ll be fine staying on my own for the afternoon. Where are you two going?” Mandy snuck a shred of cheese off Mickey’s plate.

“We’re meeting a parent from Nico’s school and his kid at the park. You sure you don’t want to come?”

“Hey...Mick. I swear I’m good. It’s not like before all the shit went down I wasn’t on my own anyways.” she shrugged her shoulders. Mickey paused, waiting to see if she’d talk anymore. Mandy hadn’t really addressed what had happened in the week he’d been back home and he was starting to think she never would, “Uh...I just forgot...something.” she turned around as quickly as she’d entered the room and retreated to her bedroom. 

If it was one thing Mickey wasn’t good at, it was feelings, let alone female feelings. All he knew was that he needed to be here in Chicago as much as he hated it. “Come eat your lunch, Nic.”

***

The park had way more people than Mickey would have predicted, but he guessed it was only logical since the weather was actually nice. If Ian’s bright red hair wasn’t the first thing that Mickey saw when he made it to the park, the little identically bright haired girl yelling “NICKY!” was. She had this big gleeful smile that matched her father’s as she ran across the near fifteen feet toward them with her arms spread wide ready to wrap around the little Milkovich. Mickey’d never seen his son so happy to be among anyone that wasn’t him or Mandy and he had certainly never heard his son’s voice so loud as he ran equally as excited toward his friend screaming “ZO!” 

Ian was trailing behind his daughter looking less casual than he had the first time they’d met when he wore sweats, but casual enough for the park in a pair of light washed ripped jeans, a grey t-shirt and a dark green flannel thrown over. His hair was gelled and combed with not a hair out of place and he wore the same infectious smile his daughter did. “We’re so glad you could make it.” 

“I could tell,” Mickey laughed as he pointed to where the kids were still hugging. They ran and played while Mickey and Ian grabbed a seat at a nearby picnic table under a large oak tree where they could see the kids and still hear them. 

“So, how’d your first day go?” Ian asks and he looks like he actually wants to know. 

“Good, it was only half a day, so really good I guess.” 

“That’s nice. Zoey wouldn’t shut up about you two meeting us. I think she’s finally found another kid who doesn’t think her babbling is annoying,” Ian laughs causing Mickey to give him a look because who the fuck says that about their kid. Ian just laughs even harder when he sees the raised eyebrow, “We wouldn’t be Gallaghers if we couldn’t point out each other’s flaws that we love.” 

“I’m just glad she seems to like him. He isn’t really good at making friends.” The kids are looking in the grass with their hands propped on their knees and pointing at it like they’re looking for something.

“Yeah, well from the way it’s looking he’s got a lifer with her. She doesn’t like people often but when she does...well she acts like that.” Ian points. When Mickey looks over he can see Zoey petting Nico’s hair because she’s got about two inches on him. 

“So what made you guys move huh?” Ian asks, Mickey knows he’s just making conversation but he doesn’t really know this guy.

“Just felt like the right time.”

The rest of the time at the park is spent with easy conversation, mostly about their kids. Ian telling Mickey mostly about the school, the activities and even offering to chauffeur the kids when they have any activities. Mickey spends most of the time keeping his eyes on the kids even when he wants to look at the other man. And it's mostly because the other man is just too beautiful for Mickey to look at without it being obvious that he’s checking him out, but the sound of Ian’s laugh makes it difficult to not look. 

It’s only when Ian says that the teachers at the school all flirt with him because he’s the young single dad does Mickey really look over. The redhead is cracking up and it’s got Mickey wondering if while focusing too much on how good Ian’s voice sounds if he had missed what he was actually saying, “They just don’t know that I don’t bat for their team.” And he starts laughing again. 

And suddenly Mickey is seeing him in an entirely new light. He’s hot he’s single, he’s very gay and he’s got this stupidly gorgeous musical laugh that makes Mickey’s heart flutter up up his chest and forms a lump in his throat. It’s got Mickey feeling completely stupid that he’s only met this guy twice now and he doesn’t want to live in a world where he can’t hear that sound again. It sounds just as good as his own son’s laugh. Mickey blinks rapidly and focuses his eyes again on where his son is standing a couple feet away with red cheeks and a smile on his face while the little redheaded girl whispers in his ears. It seemed as though the two Gallagher’s had easily won over the two Milkovich guys who Mandy claims “hates every living thing in the world beside each other”.

Ian outing himself to Mickey is the only thing Mickey could think about when they get home that evening and when he burns his hand taking pizza rolls out the oven. It’s the entire reason he finds himself sitting out on their balcony with his third cigarette between his lips after putting Nico to bed. The night is fairly humid, breaking a thin layer of sweat out against Mickey’s skin as he sits in the darkness peering out at what little the dimmed streetlights cascade over. How the fuck did he get here? If anyone had asked him two months before if he’d ever come back to the Windy City he wouldn’t even answer them, he’d just give them that incredulous look he gets when people ask stupid fucking questions. Mickey’s had no intentions of coming back here. When he got on that bus the day the hospital discharged Nico, he never intended on hearing the loud rattling of the rusted L tracks, or smell the lingering hopelessness that the Southside always had. He’s only here for one reason. One person.

She joins him shortly after he’d finished his third cigarette and is moving on to the fourth and quietly sits beside him with a cold beer and her own smoke and they listen to the Southside together. Like they used to when they were kids wondering when the fuck one of their parents were going to come home. “Thanks,” she whispers, “For coming back.”

“Don’t.”

“No, I have to. You got out, and now you’re back here in this rotting hell because of me and I’m glad you are.” It isn’t often that they say how they feel or acknowledge the good things they do for each other and it’s probably painful, for the regular common folk who actually  _ knows _ how to talk about feelings, to hear. 

He doesn’t say anything he just knocks his own beer against hers and continues to look out into the night. “I know it’s only been a week, but I can’t believe they’re actually dead.”

“Fucking Terry.” Mickey mutters.

“Fucking Kenyatta.” Mandy then bursts into laughter that startles Mickey. But it’s isn’t all that surprising that she’s laughing. Mandy’s always been a bit off in the way she responds to things. Mickey remembers seeing Mandy shrug her shoulders and then heading to a neighbourhood party after their mom died. 

They grow silent after her fit of laughter, listening to the cars honking, neighbours cursing and music somewhere in the distance. “How’d the park go?”

“Good. Nic’s making friends.”

“How about you? Are you making friends? Is it a hot single mom who doesn’t know you’re gay?” she teases.

“First off, fuck you. Second, It’s a single dad. Ian Gallagher.” 

“OH!” Mandy kicks her legs out laughing, “The gay Gods couldn’t have served you better. He’s so gay. Like had a beard in high school, works on the gay firefighters shift gay.” Mandy’s laughter fades out as Mickey’s thoughts return to Ian.

Of course he’s gay. He’s gorgeous and gay and Mickey is in Chicago. A place he has no intentions of staying in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are always appreciated!


	4. Anytime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s unnerving that Mickey doesn’t reply while Ian’s been lying on that bed thinking he’s definitely fucked up. He doesn’t know this guy, he definitely wants to but he doesn’t. Ian lies there for about forty minutes and usually he’d have used the time to take a nap in between calls but his heart is hammering and well he’s really fucking close to saying fuck this shift, getting into his car to look for Mickey and tell him, I’m not a weirdo. But doing that is only going to prove he is one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> This update has been a long time in the making and so much happened that I just got kept back. Firstly with everything going on with the protests and Black Lives Matter it did not feel right for me to be updating my fic. I felt like it was more important to spread awareness, and pay homage to the late George Floyd and updating this felt insensitive. 
> 
> Secondly, my finals started so I've been juggling doing those because they're all online and lecturers ain't taking it easy on us even if it's a pandemic. 
> 
> Thirdly I got injured from boiling water, and my upper shoulder was mostly covered with second degree burns. So it was very painful and I just was not in the creative mood. I'm healing nicely, on my last exam and I'm back. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter, it was my favourite one to write so far. Thanks Vicky for the help.
> 
> Don't forget to donate where you can and help out in any way. https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

_ *Four years ago* _

Things were drastically harder than Mickey had anticipated they would be and it had only been five hours since he’d left the hospital. Now, he was sitting at a booth, in a dinged old diner with a wailing newborn baby and a worsening headache. Truth of the matter was that Mickey had no clue where he’d go when he got on that bus. He was lost and, if he was honest with himself, a little preoccupied with staring at his son. Mickey hadn’t in the slightest wanted to be a father but as life would see it, God or whatever greater force existed, chose this for Mickey. 

It was like she either had a sixth sense or really good intuition because about a half an hour into the drive, when Mickey had realised he was heading away from the city with no prospects of where they were going to sleep that night, that Mandy had texted.

**_Mandy:_ ** _ Dino’s Diner on 25th street, Arborview, Ann Arbor. Darina will meet you. _

And that’s how he found himself sitting at the worn down booth, holding a sleeping baby against his chest while the waitress kept smiling in his direction. It was almost eleven years since he’d last seen or heard from his mother's youngest sister but he knew if it was anyone she would have kept in touch with, it was Mandy. “Mikhailo?”

Her voice was hardly familiar but her face had stayed the same. She looked just like his mother last did, except for the needle sticking out of her arm and the cold dead look in her eyes. Darina might have  _ looked  _ the same but she was far from it. She’d grown out of the teenaged dark eyed girl who’d once lived two bedrooms down from him. 

“Dari.” Was all he said. In fact it was all he needed to say. Because she'd been the one who invited him into her home. She helped him look after Nico so he could finish high school and take a few courses at the community college a couple blocks away. She’s the one who made sure that Nico never went a day hungry while Mickey was struggling to make ends meet. She’s the whole reason Mickey didn’t think twice about Chicago except for the occasional visits from Mandy that warranted the courteous catch up of what everyone back “home” was up to. And then Mandy would leave and so would the thoughts of the dark neighbourhood Mickey had come to think was a figment of his nightmares.

_ *Present Day* _

Wednesday night finds Mickey standing in the middle of the kitchen trying to figure what he should make for dinner. He’d had a full day of work that day and he was well tired, but his kid was whining how hungry he was. He had to remember to do a grocery shop soon because the cupboards were looking bare. After careful consideration and the realisation that there was nothing more than a box of pasta, a can of tomatoes and one egg in the house, he settled on pasta and tomato sauce. It’s hard to think that there was a time that he didn't know how to cook anything that didn’t involve taking it out of the freezer and sticking it into the oven or just adding boiling water. Now though, he had practiced and skilled family recipes tucked in his head and in the middle of an old photo album for the days he forgot. If Dari could see what they’ve eaten since they got to Chicago...she’d be appalled. “Nic! Do you have homework?”

“Nope.” He was sitting on the floor of the kitchen with a toy truck even though Mickey told him to sit in the living room.  _ I missed you,  _ was the argument so Mickey didn’t fight it. 

“Okay, I’ll check your books in a minute.” Mickey set the pot of pasta to boil and then came into the living room grabbing up Nico’s bag and checking his book for any messages from his teacher or homework. When he put the book back in he saw a little drawing of four stick figures. 

“Oh that’s my draw’win I did today,” Nico said, voice filled with pride, as he climbs onto the couch again to look over at the drawing. His tiny little hands point to each stick figure, “that’s me, and you and Zoey and her dad. I can’t ’member his name.” 

“Remember,” Mickey corrects, “and his name is Ian. I’m gonna put this up on the fridge, okay?” 

“Okay. Did Ee-an call you yet?” Nico asked hopping off the couch and following Mickey into the kitchen to watch him pin the drawing to the fridge with a magnet before checking the pot on the stove

“No, he hasn’t but it’s only been four days, and didn’t you see Zoey at school today?” He doesn’t add the part where he was secretly hoping the redhead would call him too because it’s his fucking kid he’s talking to. But Mickey saw the way Ian was checking him out at the ice cream shop and maybe at the park too.

“Why don’t you call him?” That stomps Mickey a bit. Sometimes it shocks him how logical the kid is.

“Uhm I don’t know. You really like Zoey don’t you?”

“She’s the only one who’s nice to me at school.” Nico said leaning against the stool at the kitchen isle. 

“ Are kids being mean to you?” Mickey asked bristled and on alert if anyone was hurting his kid.

“They act like I’m not even there. None of them wants to play with me.” 

Mickey sighed stirring the pot and then getting the pasta sauce out of the cupboard, “it might take a while. All the kids have been there for more than a month together, they’ve all gotten to know each other. Give it some time, buddy and they’ll all see how great you are.”

“Yeah?” He sounded so hopeful that Mickey couldn’t bear to tell him that that actually might not happen. It didn’t happen for him.

“Yeah.”

“He did’n call? Zozo said he will call.” the kid mumbles running off.

Maybe the kid was right. Mickey dug his phone from his pocket and opened the thread of texts with the redhead.

**_Mickey:_** _The kids see each other every day at school but Nico still nags me to call you. Lol_

***

The minute Ian receives the text, a little giggle bursts from his lips and it’s not that what Mickey said was all that funny but just that he was kind of excited the other man texted. It’s been a quiet night shift so far and Ian’s lounging in the sleeping quarters, having just said goodnight to Zoey over facetime when the text came through. 

**_Ian:_ ** _ Smart kid  _ 😏

Immediately Ian regrets it. According to Fiona, he likes to push. Give him an inch and he’d take a mile. He always thought when she said that, that she was talking out of her ass but he’s finally realised she’s right. He’s thinking about saying something else. But what can he say? Sorry? Sorry for what exactly. Ian scrubs a hand down his face and closes his eyes, laying his head back onto his pillow and breathing in slowly and then out.

It’s unnerving that Mickey doesn’t reply while Ian’s been lying on that bed thinking he’s definitely fucked up. He doesn’t know this guy, he definitely wants to but he doesn’t. Ian lies there for about forty minutes and usually he’d have used the time to take a nap in between calls but his heart is hammering and well he’s really fucking close to saying fuck this shift, getting into his car to look for Mickey and tell him, _ I’m not a weirdo _ . But doing that is only going to prove he is one.

He rubs at his temple as he wakes his phone screen. It’s been forty five minutes, _ fuck. _ Ian’s about to throw his phone onto the bed to get a nap when it buzzes to life with a notification card from his messages. _ Mickey. _

**_Mickey:_ ** _ Sorry about that, had to get Nico to bed. Kid thought he could get out of bathing. _

Ian sighs a breath of relief. He knows what that’s like, being a parent, getting your schedule completely thrown off because you didn’t cater for your kid not wanting to eat, or not wanting a bath. Ian finds himself smiling at Mickey being a dad, because it was something Ian thought made him very very attractive. Ian is about to start typing a response when he sees the three little dot bounce and then another text from Mickey comes in.

**_Mickey:_ ** _ Maybe we can get them together soon for something fun outside of school. _

Ian feels dumb for thinking that maybe, just  _ maybe _ Mickey might want to see him again. He shakes the thought out of his head reminding himself that this is a most likely straight man, who is probably just excited that his quiet son finally has a friend. It’s got nothing to do with Ian. he hopes it does but again he has to remind himself that it’s highly likely it doesn’t.

**_Ian:_ ** _ I’m on night shift today, but I’m off for the rest of the week and this weekend, we can definitely plan something.  _

**_Mickey:_ ** _ Cool, I'm off Friday but work Saturday morning but we can definitely do something. Gonna head to bed. Stay safe, Clark Kent.  _

It’s a fucking compliment, right? Ian sure thinks so. He’s blushing as he types “Goodnight.”

“What the heck are you smiling about, Gallagher?” Sue teases as she walks in with a grin and a finger pointing his way. Ian tries his best to school his face but there isn’t much that gets by his partner. She plunks down onto his bed with a wicked grin, “Spill, hot shot.”

Ian sat up against the headboard, “Not much to spill. He’s a parent from Zoey’s school, the one that helped her when she fell. And his son and Zoey are friends now.”

“Holy shit, Ian Gallagher. Look at that twinkle in your eye. You like him.”

“Pffft, no. I don’t even know if he’s gay.” 

“You have always had a pretty shit radar.” Sue joked right before a call for a building fire and their ambulance came through the PA system.

***

It’s almost 5:30 am that he and Sue drive back into the station after an emergency call for an elderly patient, feeling sleep sting at their eyes and fatigue crawl through their muscles. “Look at that sunrise.” Sue marvels as they disembark the rig and get started on cleaning it up in hopes that they would have no more runs within the last hour of their shift. 

Ian looks at the remnants of orange that shows through the clouds and immediately slips his phone from his pocket to capture the beauty. It’s become sort of a tradition between him and Zoey. Everytime he witnesses a sunrise at work he takes a picture to show her later in the day. This day however, Ian isn’t exactly sure why he opens up the short thread of text messages he’s got going with Mickey and thinks about attaching the image. He shakes the thought from his head as he pockets his phone.

Sue gives him a knowing look with a raised eyebrow but Ian could only shy away and act like he hasn’t noticed as he disinfects the gurney. 

He can’t stop thinking about the little texting conversation from that night when he sits in his car, tiredly rubs at his eyes and heads over to Fiona’s. Ian isn’t entirely sure what it was about Mickey. It could be the smoldering blue eyes and the little smile he’d get every time he looked at his son thinking no one was noticing. Ian doesn’t even think the other man is gay but he couldn’t help but think he was beautiful. And it wasn’t just the fact Mickey had a lot going for him physically because damn he did but also that Ian saw what a good caring parent he was. 

Ian wouldn’t lie if someone pointed out that his taste in men had certainly changed after becoming a father. Because it did. It did because Ian no longer thought about himself alone. Every decision he made always came back to the little girl he’d die for. Every time he got on that rig he made sure he always was his most observant self because he never wanted to end up in any sticky situations so many EMTs and paramedics ended up in. Every morning when he wakes up and looks at those pills and thinks  _ what if I didn’t take them _ , he reminds himself that he isn’t the only one who has to live with the consequences. So he steels himself and swallows every pill he has too. He makes sure he’s his best self because he wouldn’t want to give his daughter any less than the best. So every man Ian looks twice at, it's with the consideration of his daughter.

That’s why Mickey Milkovich is so attractive. He’s young just like him and he seems to only have eyes for his kid. That to Ian, is fucking sexy. The hair and eyes and the rough bad boy look that the FUCK U-UP tattoos serve, only help the sexiness. 

Fiona’s already got Zoey, Liam and Debbie’s six month old baby, Franny ready for the day and obediently sitting at the breakfast table eating. Ian strolls into his family home breathing in the smell of the toasted bread and slightly singed bacon that had greeted him most days of his childhood...well at least the days they had the money for it. “Morning,” he called, planting a quick kiss on his sister and niece’s cheeks before heading over to his real princess.

“Daddy!” she cheered and he stooped beside her to give her a kiss and hug.

“Sleep okay, sweet pea?” 

“Mhm,” she nodded stuffing her mouth full with bread.

“Eat up, we have to leave in five minutes or you’ll be late.” Ian stood up taking an extra slice of toast that sat on a plate to the centre of the table to nibble on. 

“You’re in an awfully good mood,” Fiona said as she came back over to the table to set a glass of juice down for Liam. Ian immediately put his arms out to take little Franny over. 

“Quiet shift,” he shrugged.

“So, who’s Mickey?” when he looked up from his niece he met his sister’s raised eyebrows and quivering smirk.

“Uh... did Zoey tell you about him?” he flashed a look over to the little girl who was explaining to an almost asleep Liam something about orange juice. 

“She may have mentioned it.”

“He’s just her friend’s dad. Uh...Mickey Milkovich.”

“Milkovich? They’re from around here. Their mom used to work at the cafe just across from the Alibi, well before the drug problem happened. One of the boys was in Lip’s year but he dropped out. Their daughter, Amanda, still lives around here. Haven’t heard about Terry in a while though. I’m sure he’ll resurface eventually. He’s a lot like Frank...only worse” 

Ian’s eyes grow with the influx of information before he feels a tug on his shirt. When he looks down Zoey’s got an empty plate and a bright smile.”All done.”

“You know the drill, sink, kisses and school.” She skips over to the sink, stands on the tips of her toes to slide her plate loudly in (thank God for kiddie plastic plates) and then skips over to Fiona who kisses her nose. She grabs the lunch her aunt is holding out for her and her backpack and then heads toward the door without her father. 

“I’ll see you around Fi.” Ian kisses his sister’s head, hands the baby over and heads off behind Zoey, “Tell Debs I say hi!”

***

Mickey had been sitting for the past two hours running diagnostics on one of the systems the medical lab used and he didn’t seem to be getting very far. He’d skipped lunch and had barely gotten to finish his canned coke when he was being signed on to fix the problem the system was facing. His neck cramped and he was about to pull every last grain of hair from his head. He quickly glanced at the clock that hung on the wall realising that if he didn’t leave in five minutes, he wouldn’t make it all the way across town to pick Nico up from school. He looked back to his computer screen.

_ 3hrs and 23 minutes remaining… _

He sighed, grabbing his phone from his desk and dialing his sister’s cell.

“Hello?” she picked up on the second ring. She definitely wasn’t home, there was too much noise in the background..

“Hey, where are you?” Mickey asked as he tapped nervously on his desk.

“I’m just getting off the L. Heading over to my interview. Did you call to wish me luck?” Mandy teased.

“Shit...I forgot you had that today. I was calling to ask you to pick Nico up...I’m swamped at work.”

“I’m sorry, Mick but I’ve been waiting for this interview all month...Can’t you ask your boss to leave early or something. He knows you’ve got a kid, right?” 

Mickey pinched the bridge of his nose sighing, “Yeah...Uh...I’ll figure it out. Thanks anyways, and uh...good luck.”

“Thanks, Mick,” Mickey hung up looking over to the door that led to the head of his department. He didn’t want to be asking for any favours just yet, plus they were very lenient with letting Nico come to work with him on the weekends he did work. He glanced at his phone that he still gripped in his palm, turning the idea over a few times before he quickly scrolled down his contacts list to find the number. Before he could overthink it, he hit the call button. Ian didn’t have to be at the school for another hour, Mickey could only hope the redhead wasn’t sleeping..

_ “Hello?”  _ his voice is rough and filled with sleep and it sends a chill down Mickey’s spine.

“Uh, hey. It’s Mickey.”

There’s a pause like Ian’s only now checking the caller ID, “Hey Mickey,” his voice is softer.

“Shit, did I wake you? I didn’t mean to...ah fuck”

“No, it’s all good, had to be up in five minutes anyways. What’s up?”

It’s just to pick his kid up from school, Mickey shouldn’t be nervous...but he is. He’s extremely nervous because this is the first time he’s trusting someone else to take responsibility for his kid, someone that isn’t him or Mandy or Dari. 

He takes a deep breath, “I’m really caught up at work, fucking system went to shit and I gotta fix it.” he’s cussing more than he usually does when he’s in his work building. “I don’t think I’ll be able to make it in time to pick Nico up from school. Can you just keep him with you until I’m finished?”

Ian shuffles on the other end like he’s getting off the bed or something, his breath soft and staticky through the receiver, “Sure, not a problem at all. I’m sure Zoey would really love that,” he chuckles lowly and it sends another chill down Mickey’s spine, “We’re supposed to have dinner at my sister’s tonight, though so we’ll be there if that’s not a problem, I can just text you the address.”

“Thank you so much, you’re really saving me.” 

Ian chuckles again _ , _ “Gotta live up the nickname.” Mickey’s mind short circuits momentarily.

“Huh?”

“Clark Kent?” Ian laughing on the other end, “Anyways, I’ll get him, don't you worry.”

Mickey thanks Ian again in a much softer voice before ending the call and sitting back in his seat. He looks at his computer screen and feels the frustration and rage at the machine seep back into him. His phone buzzes in his hand.

**_Ian:_ ** _ 2119 North Wallace. Pale blue house -looks like shit  _ 😂 _ Good luck getting your work done!  _ 💚

Mickey’s heart skips a little beat at that stupid heart and he couldn’t tell you why. He shakes his head and schools the smile off his face as he dials the school number to tell them Ian would pick Nico up.

***

Ian feels dumb for being this giddy that Mickey had asked him for a favour, but in his defence it was a pretty huge fucking favour. Mickey’s got to trust him...right? Ian’s smile is probably a little too wide as he listens to the two kids chat in the back seat but he loves the sound nonetheless. 

“Daddy?” Zoey asks.

“Yeah?” 

“Is Nicky coming with us at Aunt Fi?”

Ian looks up into the rear view mirror nodding, he takes absolute joy in the way his daughter’s face lights up. She always was a sucker for showing off her family. Always excited to tell her friends about her aunts and uncles and Ian thinks it’s adorable. It makes her more of a Gallagher than he ever thought she could be. 

Fiona’s already prepping to cook dinner when he gets to his childhood house. Even from where he stands with the kids at the door helping them out of their coats and shoes, he can smell the onions being sliced. “Ian? Is that you?” she calls.

“Yeah! And I’ve got two little hungry monsters with me.” he play growls sending the kids into a fit of laughter.

“Two?” Fiona’s head pops out from the doorway of the kitchen as she raises an eyebrow at the little blonde boy trailing behind her niece.

“Fiona, this is Zoey’s friend from school Nico. We picked him up because his dad got caught up at work.” Fiona gives Ian a look.

“Milkovich?” she asks softly as they meet at the doorway.

“Mhm.” she nods turning around to greet her niece and say hello to the kid.

“So two extra plates?” she asks as she opens the cupboard and takes out two more plates handing them off to Ian. Ian smiles at his sister whispering a thank you. “You've got some ‘splaining to do.”

Fiona gets started on the lasagne while the children bounce off to the living room to sit with Liam to watch some cartoons. Ian’s sitting with Franny in his lap while Fiona watches him. Ian doesn’t notice the amount of times he’s glanced to the living room since he’s sat down but Fiona sees it.

“How long have you known Nico and his dad?” Fiona asks.

Ian tilts his head to the side as he considers it, “About a week, why?”

“I don’t know...it might have to do with the way you keep looking over at him to make sure he’s okay, kind of reminds me of how you were back when Zoey now came into your life.” Fiona isn’t looking at him as she says it.

“What? No, I’m not- he’s just a sweet kid, and I know this is a big deal to Mickey. They don’t really have a lot of family or friends around here, he said it’s just him and his sister.”

“Yeah, a lot of them moved on to other cities, or life sentences. I get it...but I know that look Ian, you got to remember not every hot single dad is gay like you.” Ian nods his head because it doesn’t make sense lying to Fiona. He’s never been able to as a teen and he doubts he’s picked up the skill now as an adult. Ian’s phone vibrates against his thigh so he juggles Franny as well as he could to slip the phone out.

**_Mickey:_ ** _ Left work, getting on the L. _

“Mickey just left work,” Ian says standing up and walking toward his sister, “You’re okay with him joining us right?”

“Yeah, I don’t see why not.” she shrugs.

“Be nice?” 

“I’ll try,” she purses her lips, “Just promise me you won’t do anything stupid?”

“Have I ever been able to make that promise?” Ian grins as he puts Franny down in her playpen and goes to check on the kids.

***

The Gallagher house isn’t very far from where Mickey grew up or from where he currently resides and he thanks his lucky stars for that because there is no way in fuck was Mickey looking forward to either walking very far to get back home or taking the L for the third time that day. He’s fucking exhausted when he sees the pale blue house that looked like it hadn’t been painted in forty years in the distance. The soles of his feet ached from milling around the office trying to fix the problem after realising it was a physical one and not a software thing. The knot at the base of his neck pinched tightly as he pushed his messenger bag further up his shoulder. And to top it all off, he was fucking starving from not eating lunch. All in all, Mickey was not having a good day. 

He knocked probably a little too harshly on the brown wooden door but at this point Mickey didn’t give a flying fuck. He’d had a bad day, all he really wanted now was to eat some food and take a fucking nap. Of course it’s Ian who tends to the door, opening it wide with that brilliant smile shining and a glimmer of something Mickey couldn’t describe in his eyes.  _ He’s so gay. Like had a beard in high school, works on the gay firefighters shift gay. _ He hears his sister cackling in his head. Mickey kind of stammers for words and he looks around to see if anyone on the streets could see how embarrassing he’s being right now.

“Bad day?” Ian asks.

“You have no fucking clue.” Mickey sighed.

“Come in,” Ian moved aside for Mickey to walk in. 

“Actually, I’m beat man, and I still gotta get home to cook and I’ve just had a really long day. Can you get Nico for me?” he doesn’t want to be a dick because Ian’s done him a favour but Ian’s a parent, he of all people should know the feeling.

“Uh...well, we were just going to have dinner and well, we already set two extra places at the table. Why don’t you join us?” Ian asked with a soft smile that Mickey is finding it very hard to say no to. What is it with this guy? In reality Mickey doesn’t really know much about this guy. Most of their conversations have mostly revolved around their kids, somehow there is something about him that has Mickey feeling fucking butterflies like a twelve year old girl.

“Ah, okay.” Mickey shrugs, slipping inside beside Ian. Mickey stops almost abruptly as he looks at the layout of the house, the warm yellow lights and tacky floral wallpaper, the aged green couch and patterned blanket hanging on its back. The place couldn’t have screamed  _ homey home  _ louder if it tried. Mickey’s always been accustomed to houses on the southside being a place to sleep, stay dry, keep all your shit. He didn’t know there were  _ homes  _ like this so close to where he’d grown up. Ian stumbled into his back after shutting the door behind him. “Shit, sorry” the redhead stumbled, placing his hands on Mickey's back. Mickey felt a shiver go down his spine. “I’ll uh...I’ll give you and Nico a ride home, how ‘bout that?” Ian dropped his hands walking around Mickey who still stood awkwardly. All he could really do is nod. “Come on, the kitchen is this way.”

Ian led him further into the house and toward the soft chatter, “Daddy!” Nico called from where he was sitting between Zoey and another little redhead who was in a high chair. “Hey, Bud.” Mickey walked over to him kissing his head. 

“Fiona, Mickey. Mickey, my older sister Fiona.” She’s got wild brown hair and fine smile lines that frames her grin.

“Come on, it’s time to eat.” she gestured to the chair next to where Ian had taken a seat.

The food was good, the company even better. The loud chatter and boisterous laughter reminds Mickey a little of when his family would pretend they weren’t fucked up. It reminds him of the family gatherings Mandy always wanted to have, but most of all, it reminds him of Michigan and the family nights he’d have with Dari. 

Mickey wants to get to know Ian. and that’s exactly what he gets. Ian’s relaxed into his chair after clearing his plate, he’s poking fun at this little brother who isn’t taking shit and is only firing back. The redhead has got this smile that reaches his eyes, little wrinkles spidering out from his eyes as his lips split wide and his head falls back against the chair with the full belly laugh. He does airplane noises as he spoons food into the messy baby’s mouth. He treats Mickey’s kid as he treats his own when he gets up to get them both fresh glasses of water because one glass of juice is enough. He offers to get the dishes for his sister while looking over to Mickey and flashing an easy smile, “I won’t be long. I promise I’ll have you and the little man home in no time.” 

Mickey was getting to know Ian in a good way he hadn’t gotten to know anyone else before. This guy was kind, he was thoughtful and he knew what it meant to put his kid first. 

The car is filled with Ian’s steady breathing beside him and the radio turned down low while the kids fell asleep in the backseat. “You know I can get him from school any day that’s too hard for you or your sister. It’s not a problem at all. Zoey doesn’t mind one bit.” He chuckles pointing to where his daughter had fallen asleep holding Nico’s hand.

“Thanks, I really appreciate it. You really helped me out today.” Mickey smiled.

Ian pulled up to the apartment Mickey directed him to. “You should get some rest. You look really stressed out.” 

“Is that your subtle way of telling me I look like shit?” Mickey laughed.

“What? No! I’d never.” Ian scratched at his upper lip, “you could never look like shit.” 

Mickey’s black brows climbed high on his forehead, “that’s because you haven’t seen me in the morning.” 

They both grow silent until Mickey sighs, “I better get him inside. Thank you for picking Nico up, dinner, dropping us home. For everything.”

“Not a problem.” Ian says softly smiling at Mickey as he opens his door, “anytime.” 

Mickey lifts Nico out from the backseat and grabs their bags shutting the door with his hip. He half waves as best as he could as he trudged his way up the steps of the building. Mickey didn’t turn back but he knows Ian stayed parked out there until they were inside. 

  
  
  



	5. A Risky Text

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And while Ian drives to the bank to get some errands done, and stands in a line for over forty minutes, and even when he gets back home and starts the pile of laundry waiting for him, he finds it impossible to stop thinking about Mickey. And he can’t stop obsessing over if he’d pushed too fucking hard once again. Maybe he’s creeped Mickey out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to start off by saying how sorry I am that this update has taken so long to be posted. I have been feeling very demotivated as of late. Worry not, it's not that I'm losing interest in this fic, I have just been in a funk lately but I feel myself coming out of it. 
> 
> Thank you to those still sticking with me for this story and I hope you enjoy this chapter. The gears of this fic is beginning to turn finally and lead to some juicy stuff but far from the climax, I still have much to tell. 
> 
> I hope you all are keeping safe, and taking care of yourselves and I hope this chapter is a pick me up from whatever you may be going through. So grab a snack and enjoy Ian having a bit of a meltdown over whether or not he's pushed too far.
> 
> I don't think need to specify what is texting conversation because my bold/italics makes it obvious, just know there's a bit of texting in this chapter.

**_Mickey:_ ** _ Thank you again for today=)  _

It’s the first thing Ian reads when he’s finally settled into his bed that night. He hasn’t stopped thinking about the man and he feels fucking guilty, like he shouldn’t be thinking about a straight guy, the father of his daughter’s friend like that. 

**_Ian:_ ** _ Not a problem. Anytime. _

**_Ian:_ ** _ Nico settle in okay? _

**_Mickey:_ ** _ Out like a log.  _

**_Mickey:_ ** _ Tell your sister thank you for dinner, it was delicious. _

**_Ian:_ ** _ Will do, she’d love to hear that. _

**_Ian:_ ** _ You should get some rest.  _

**_Mickey:_ ** _ I will. Got the day off tomorrow. Thanks again. Goodnight. _

**_Ian:_ ** _ Goodnight. _

Ian plugs his phone in to charge for the night and lays his head down, forcing himself to not think of the other man.

When he wakes the next morning, he feels that stiff soreness in your bones when you’ve been missing too much sleep but then finally get enough hours in. He stretches his legs, takes a deep breath in and out and then lets his eyes flutter open. His clock reads 6:23 am. He really hopes Zoey stays in her bed until it’s time to get up. He grabs his phone from off the nightstand to see he has a message.

**_Mickey:_ ** _ Do you know any good places for a haircut? _

Ian doesn’t know when it’s been agreed upon that they text each other this casually but he’s okay with it.

**_Ian:_ ** _ Is it for you? _

**_Mickey:_ ** _ Yes? _

**_Ian:_ ** _ You’re cutting your hair?  _

**_Mickey:_ ** _ Well not if I have nowhere to cut it _

**_Ian:_ ** _ The place I go to is on 79th street.  _

**_Ian:_ ** _ But if you’re asking me, I think your hair looks great _ .😃

**_Mickey:_ ** _ Thanks? It’s actually for Nico  _ 😝

Ian furrows his brow because did Mickey just force him to actually compliment him? Nah he’s gotta be tripping. 

**_Ian:_ ** _ I see how it is Milkovich, you play games. If it’s for Nico the guys there are a bit too scary for kids IMO, I’m sure my sister would be willing to cut it. She cuts Zoey’s. _

**_Mickey:_ ** _ I thought she worked at a diner? _

**_Ian:_ ** _ Not that sister. I’m talking about Debbie, Franny’s mom. _

**_Mickey:_ ** _ Uhmm okay, well Maybe you can set it up? _

**_Ian:_ ** _ I’d love to. Last night was fun too, we should do it again some time, Maybe without my siblings and niece though...maybe somewhere more intimate. _

He doesn’t get a reply before Zoey comes storming into his room begging him for breakfast. He eats his cereal while Zoey finishes putting her shoes on and all he can fucking think about is Mickey Milkovich. He wants to know everything there is to know about the other man, he wants to make him laugh. Ian is falling head over heels for a guy he hardly knows, for a guy who might not receive his doting so well. “I’m ready.” Zoey calls. Ian checks his phone one more time but so sees no response from the man who had the day off just like he did. The man who’d been occupying his mind all day and Ian knows the text is going to be like shooting his shot under the ocean but he’s already taken the risk.

  
  
  
  


_ *Three Years Ago* _

Fiona had been pestering Ian for twenty four years too long. The first year of Ian becoming a father had been a trying one to say the least. Ian had finally and permanently moved out of the Gallagher house and into a one bedroom apartment a couple blocks away to give him some sense of independence. Despite the fact that he still spent most days at the Gallagher house, his apartment was the perfect place of solitude for him to get to know his daughter, and to take his much needed breaks from his family. Fiona sang the song that Ian’s social life was as good as over with a baby and Ian had found that he was okay with that. After his seven month relationship with that son of a bitch Caleb, Ian had the main goal of focusing on himself and his own personal growth. Sure, that plan now extends to Zoey but he’s adapting and it’s exactly what he told his sister when she kept lecturing that his clubbing nights were over. She eventually stopped, but Fiona being Fiona, she can only contain her pestering for so long. After the first two years, Fiona’s nagging resumed.

She was on a different beat this time however, that he needed to get out more, that she didn’t mind watching Zoey for the night. Ian thinks it’s just his sister being greedy for more time with her niece since she was freshly single but he doesn’t say that. In fact he simply shakes his head and ignores her because he isn’t bothered.

He’s shopping in the vegetable aisle of the grocery store with Zoey sitting in the cart playing with her stuffed bear when he hears a familiar voice. “Ian?”

He’s absolutely mortified when he turns around and sees that it isn’t just Caleb, but it’s Caleb and Denise, the woman Ian caught him cheating with. He stammers a little bit until Zoey’s little hand hits him smack in the middle of his chest. “Uh, hi.” he purses his lips, as he watches the way Caleb’s eyes run over him, almost like he’s looking down on him. Ian wasn’t too proud he decided to leave the house in those old sweatpants that shouldn’t be seen by anyone.

“How have you been?” Ian can see the way Caleb looks at Zoey when he asks it and he almost wants to step in between and block him. The dick shouldn't be privy to seeing his child.

“Really good, you?” 

Caleb begins to day something but Denise cuts him off, “We’re doing fantastic, we just got married. I’m Denise, and you are?”

Ian kind of laughs a little at that, because Caleb doesn’t even look happy by the announcement of his marriage, in fact he looks fucking miserable. “Nice, I’m Ian.”

“And who is this little girl?” Denise asks trying to look around Ian, who hadn’t even noticed he’d moved to obscure his ex’s view of his child. 

“My daughter,” is all he says. Caleb’s eyes grow wide at that.

Denise smiles but then she turns to Caleb, “Babe, I’m just heading over to the hygiene aisle, just meet me when you’re done.” she kisses him in a loud obnoxious way before leaving. 

Ian and Caleb stand in awkward silence and Ian’s itching to just walk away but Caleb opens his fucking mouth and Ian feels like he can’t move.

“So a kid huh? How’d that happen?”

Ian huffs a sarcastic laugh, “You remember that time you cheated on me and made me feel like I was the wrong one because I didn't have any sexually fluid experiences?” He isn't even trying to hide his bitterness, “and then I felt pressured to sleep with a woman? Well, it turns out that was the greatest thing that ever happened to me, I got rid of you and I got my daughter.”

Caleb never liked anyone putting him in his place, he’d usually turn nasty pulling his lips tightly against his teeth just like he was doing then, “Well, seems like you're still alone. That’s sad.” he goes to walk away but Ian says it loud enough for him to hear.

“At least I’m happy.”

_ *Present Day* _

That encounter is what made Ian start occasionally going on a date or two that never turned out to be anything. Some only ended up being a quick dinner before Ian faked an emergency. Fiona poked at him begging him to allow her to ‘set him up’ but Ian didn’t want that. He’d found a place where he was perfectly content with the way his life was.

Sure, he’d accompanied Sue to the gay clubs when she just wanted a good dance without creeps bothering her, and sometimes those nights were fruitful with a quick hook up in the bathroom of the club but he never brought anyone home, and he never had anything turn out to be more. He’s never really been into anyone since he’s become a father. There hadn’t been anyone he felt any kind of magnetic attraction to. Not until Mickey. He didn’t know what Mickey’s favourite colour was, or if he preferred liquor or beer. He didn’t know if Mickey liked cereal or eggs on a morning, fuck maybe he likes coffee alone. Ian wants to know those things. It wasn’t that his encounter with his ex had sparked jealousy in him or made him feel alone in any way. He had Zoey, his job and his family and his life felt fulfilled. He started dating because he didn’t hate the idea of having someone to share it all with. No man had ever been good enough to bring him or introduce to Zoey, but that didn’t mean Ian stopped wanting a partner.

And maybe Mickey isn’t gay. But Ian would be content with just being his friend. To just having him around because there is something about him that’s drawing Ian in. And while Ian drives to the bank to get some errands done, and stands in a line for over forty minutes, and even when he gets back home and starts the pile of laundry waiting for him, he finds it impossible to stop thinking about Mickey. And he can’t stop obsessing over if he’d pushed too fucking hard once again. Maybe he’s creeped Mickey out. 

Ian doesn’t stop thinking about it all through the day. And he wishes, boy did he wish he could unsend the message. Why wasn’t that an option for texting? He berates himself about it even as he drives over to the school and sits in about an hour of traffic. He glances at his phone every time it vibrates but it’s only the Gallagher group chat blowing up with pictures of Franny and Lip telling them how much he misses them. Ian feels like an idiot.

He gets to the school a little earlier than he anticipated despite the traffic so he parks a couple streets down and reads through his family messages, before opening the thread he has with his older sister.

**_Ian:_ ** _ I think I did something stupid _ . 

It doesn’t take long for Fiona to call him, “Wouldn’t be you if you didn’t. What did you do?”

Ian bangs his head into his headrest, “I sent a text telling him I’d like to do dinner again...maybe in a more intimate setting. FUCK.” 

“Eh, it’s not as bad as I thought it would be. What did he say?”

“He didn’t reply,” Ian sighs, “Why am I so pushy?”

“I don’t know. I’ve been asking the question since you pushed your way out of Monica.” Fiona laughs, “Maybe he’s busy. Lip said he’s overseeing the installation of some new equipment at the lab today, that’s a lot of work right?”

“He has the day off.” Ian says blandly.

“Hmm.”

“Hmm? What does that mean?” Ian sits up in his seat and holds one hand onto the steering wheel and rests his chin on that hand. 

“Look, I’m not going to deny what you said was a little pushy. It’s Mickey Milkovich, do you even know if he’s gay? He has a kid, and he’s Terry’s kid. Terry’s middle name is bigot. But maybe he’s running errands, or maybe he’s so fucking tired he chose to sleep the day away. Don’t assume anything, wait til you hear from him or see him.”

“Fuck, you’re right. Okay I gotta take the car around to get Zoey. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bye, Bean, Love you.”

“Love you too.” he drives the car around the block and parks opposite the school. The street is a little busy with the parents and kids filing out of the building. Ian gets out and walks across the street and into the schoolyard. Zoey and Nico are just getting out alongside their teacher when Nico spots him. He waves with a giant smile before he elbows Zoey who’s busy looking down at the dangling strap of her backpack. She too grins when she sees him and hops into a run toward him. He kneels, grabbing her into a hug and kissing her cheek. When she lets go, Ian's blindsided when Nico too launches himself at him for a hug. 

“How was your day?” he asks them, they smile with a chorus of good. 

“Daddy, can I play with Nico?” she’s pointing at the playground. Ian looks around noticing Mickey wasn’t there yet. Beside the fact that waiting for Mickey presented the opportunity for them to talk, Ian didn’t feel it right to leave Nico alone. 

“Yeah, give me your bags.” he takes their little backpacks off them and walks with them to where the slides and swings are. 

There are only a few kids playing on the swings and monkey bars and Ian reminds them to stay in his line of sight before he takes a seat at one of the concrete benches. The sun is peeking through the trees that mostly shade the playground creating patterns of light in the dirt that the kids seem very intrigued by. He smiles while he keeps watching them. His phone vibrates shortly after and he almost scrambles to reach for it when he reminds himself to be cool. To relax.

His face falls when he sees his phone’s screen lit with a notification from his sister.

**_Fiona:_ ** _ I’m dropping a casserole off at your place before I head to work.  _

He sends back a quick thank you before averting his eyes back to the kids. He hadn’t realised he’d been sitting for an hour until he saw more teachers exit the building and left the premises. He looked around wondering why Mickey hadn’t been there to pick Nico up yet. 

He decides to send another text.

**_Ian:_ ** _ I’m waiting with Nico. Should I tell him you got caught up at work. _

Ian doesn’t receive a reply and it’s at this point that he begins to think Mickey not replying to him that morning is more than him pushing his luck. He begins to worry about Mickey’s safety. Mickey wouldn’t leave Nico on his own. He wouldn’t forget him. Ian wished he had a number for Mickey’s sister but he doesn’t and he feels lost. A couple minutes later the kids come running over and they’re complaining that they’re hungry. Ian opens up Zoey’s bag that he and Fiona always make sure has extra snacks, and sets them next to him to eat.

It’s getting late by the time Nico asks for his dad. When Ian glances at his watch it’s nearing 5:00pm, almost three hours he’d been sitting with the kids. He tries to call Mickey a couple times but the phone keeps going to voicemail. The kids are bored with the playground and Ian is really close to telling them to get their stuff so he can take them home. He’s worried if Mickey shows up and sees that Nico isn’t there. Would that be considered kidnapping? He doesn’t even want to think about what kinds of trouble that can get him in. He calls Mickey a dozen more times before he hears Nico scream out, “Daddy!” 

Ian’s head whips around and all he sees is blood trickling down from a split eyebrow, mixing with the same red liquid that seeps from a broken nose and a few gashes along those usually pale cheekbones. Tattooed fingers clutch at his stomach as Mickey limps toward them. “Shit.”


	6. Hurricane of the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey’s fight instinct itched at his skin begging to crawl out through his fingertips and sink into the flesh of half a dozen faces that all looked just like his father. Black dots blurred his vision as he staggered backward then forward trying to get a good footing on the uneven tar. Mickey wants to fight back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Hides face* Yeah, I'm back.
> 
> I'd like to apologize for leaving this story so up in the air, especially where we last left off. But I'm sure a lot of you could understand that this pandemic took a toll on me. I've been in a deep funk and I don't know how to get out of it. I hope posting this and getting your feedback would help with how I feel and encourage me to post more
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS! - Homophobic slurs/language, Violence due to homophobia, blood. I in no way hold the views of some of the characters in this story but it is part of what has happened and without selling the story out I'd like to warn you. If reading about such topics is triggering to you I insist you don't read. I tried to keep it minimal but my opinion on how triggering it is to me may not be the same for you.
> 
> I do hope however that you all enjoy this story and are still with me on this on. I hope you and pray you are keeping safe and that this chapter finds you in good health. I am trying my best to keep with this and try writing more. So, please leave your thoughts to keep me motivated to write. It will be greatly appreciated. Much Love.

_ *Six Years ago* _

It was the echoing sound of a gun firing in the next room over that jolted Mickey from his sleep. It was just after midday, and the heat was stifling in his room as it mixed with the aroma of last night’s spilt beer and few too many burnt out cigarettes. Shortly after the shot, yelling proceeded to fill the atmosphere of the Milkovich house before the front door was slammed dramatically rattling through the roof and delicate structure. This wasn’t anything unusual. He sighed heavily into his lumpy pillow before throwing his legs over the side and onto the dusty floorboards of his bedroom. He knew if he didn’t mediate, someone might end up dead. 

His dad and a couple of his henchmen all slouched around the kitchen table filing the serial numbers off a couple assault rifles they’d snagged the night before. “The fuck’s with all the noise,” Mickey grumbled.

His dad doesn’t spare him a glance but one of his minions pipes up with an amused grin, “Tony’s girl tried shooting him in the head ‘cause she found him banging that chick from Denny’s.”

“Shit. Did she hit him?”

The meth-head bared his teeth in a chuckle before pointing to a new hole in the drywall of the kitchen. Mickey could only roll his eyes. 

Mickey takes a seat opposite his dad and he gets to work before he can be yelled at. He can smell the stench of stale whiskey and see the stains of the hangover sweats on his father’s T-shirt, he knows to not get on his bad side. 

“Mickey and Remi, You’re on delivery tonight.” His father, who still hasn’t looked at him, grunts.

“Remi? I thought Max and I were supposed to do the drop?” Mickey asks looking at the way his dad drops the gun he’s holding onto the table and levels him with a look of disinterest. 

“Max is busy.” He says simply kicking back in his cheer and sipping at his beer, “he’s gotta go teach a pole smoker a lesson.”

Fear is exactly what Mickey feels when he sees the way his dad’s eyes watch over him. The way it rakes down from the crown of his head to where his body disappears behind the table. Like if he sees right through him and he’s just waiting to pick the gun up and pull the trigger on Mickey. Mickey suddenly feels naked in the thin wife beater and boxers he’s wearing, he feels like his dad can just tell what Mickey had been up to in Boystown five nights before when Terry made a trip to Detroit. His skin feels itchy in all the places the olive toned dancer had gripped Mickey’s hips. 

He’s been quiet for too long so he clears his throat and does a kind of raise of his eyebrows before he bitterly says, “well anyone gonna tell me who the fucking queer is?” 

Remi then talks around the cigarette between his lips,his voice dripping with disgust, “Laundromat Benny’s son. Fucking shirtlifter. One of Ronnie’s men saw him behind the laundry a couple nights ago and beat the shit out of him pretty good but we want a piece.”

“We’re gonna fuck him up real good.” Terry grins knocking his beer can into Remi’s before shooting a glare toward Mickey. Begging him to say something. The younger Milkovich gulps before shrugging the best he could.

“Fucking deserves it.” He mutters getting back to work wishing he hadn’t said those words. Praying his father would stop staring at him. 

_ *Present Day* _

Mickey had really high hopes for his first day off. He had dreams all week of getting up on time, dropping the kid to school and coming right back to the apartment he shared with his sister, to crash back into his not so comfortable bed and just sleep the day away until his alarm would wake him to get Nico. Seems a lot like what Ian had described his day offs to be like and Mickey was just excited for a break. But like most good things, Mickey hardly ever had them. Mickey thinks there’s some kind of curse the universe has cast on him where anything he wants really badly, he gets the exact opposite. And when he least expects it, or needs it good things come to him in disguise. 

So like, tradition would have it, Mickey didn’t get his well fantasized about day off. He woke up an hour earlier than he had to from nightmares of his past life, and of his father. If he had any doubts that he was no longer young, the ferocity with which his heart raced when he jerked awake that morning was all the proof he needed. He doesn’t know exactly what triggered such unwanted dreams that he hasn’t had in a long time but something in the back of his mind tells him it has a whole lot to do with being back in Chicago. But his bad day didn’t stop there. That was only the peak of the cliff. He had to scramble to put together a breakfast with the little ingredients the apartment had and to top it all off his phone fucking crapped out on him. He’s over the day before it’s even 8:00am. And if timing couldn’t have made it worse, it conked out right before Mickey could read Ian’s reply that he’d been standing watching those three dots bounce for, for almost fifteen minutes at that point to read. __

_ Fuck this day.  _

Mickey leaves the house and gets Nico to school on time and it’s probably the only thing that goes perfectly for the day because the minute he gets back home, he gets a call from his boss begging him to come in to fix the same system that had gone to crap the day before. 

Mickey isn’t a people pleaser, but when it comes to his job and his new boss, he’d like to impress as much as he can so he can benefit as much as possible the way he did in Michigan. So he made it back to the apartment, changed into a decent suit of clothes, stared menacingly at the phone that laid lifeless on the counter and then left for work. He’ll stop at the store later and begrudgingly purchase a new one from his rainy day fund.

And his day had gone quite similarly like it had the day before. He’d ended up hunched over with a shitty screwdriver and a couple spare parts trying to fix the fucked up machine all on his own because none of the other technicians would help. And the stupid as fuck manufacturers had him on hold for too many hours.

Mickey simply wasn’t in the mood to deal with any entitled asshole but the universe was clearly trying to tell him “fuck you”, so when Mickey frustratedly spotted the screwdriver a couple feet from where he was sitting on the floor, one of the nurses who had come down to the lab to run some blood work happened to be in the crossfire of his rage. He scoffed loudly down at the tool that had rolled toward his feet and looked Mickey up and down as best as he could while the Milkovich man slumped on the floor. Mickey, being the short tempered shit he was, was quick to snap back. 

“You got a fucking problem?”

The nurse rolled his eyes dramatically, pushed the screwdriver with his feet toward Mickey and simply said, “This is a medical lab, you’re supposed to be careful. Try not throwing your shit around.” Mickey was about to push off his feet because the prick doesn’t know how long he’s been working at the dumb machine, when his supervisor waltzed in for a status update and to know if he had to contact their supplier to replace the goddamn thing. The snarky nurse smirked before walking further into the lab toward the lab technicians. 

The nerve in his neck pinched tightly as he finally got the shit done a few minutes before he had to leave to pick Nico up. 

The day was just too fucking hot for Mickey when he got outside to head toward the L. He had sweat immediately break out beneath his clothing that made the fabric cling unwantedly to his body. The humid air made it feel like he was stifling for air as he tried his best to hustle through the crowd of rush hour foot traffic of the city to get to the train in time. 

As he huffed out a hot breath on his last step onto the platform he looked up defeatedly to see the train speeding out of the stop.  _ Fuck _ . He was definitely going to be late and he didn’t have his phone to call either Mandy or Ian. He ran down the rickety stairs of the platform and started running through the streets of the Northside not sparing a single glance at the snooty after work crowd that was giving him disdainful looks. He’d tried his best to remember all the shortcuts that he’d learn during his days of pushing Big C but it’s been years since he’s last been here and the streets have changed a little too much. There were new business and fucking yoga studios. 

The way in which the neighbourhood had changed made Mickey feel like all the years he’d spent running drugs and guns for his dad were nothing but a lifetime ago, heck, it even felt like it was just a distant recurring childhood nightmare that he’s finally woken from to realise wasn’t even real to begin with. But he knows it was real. All the years of staring death in the face, never knowing which day would be his last. Never knowing, which words that came from his lips would be the ones that would send his father into a fit of rage that was enough to finally kill him. Or the fear that he’d discover who Mickey truly was, under all the scars, bruises and dirt. The fear that Terry Milkovich would unveil the truth, that his son was nothing but the thing he hated most. 

Beside Terry figuring out his deepest, darkest secret, the youngest Milkovich son, feared the most that one of his father’s goons would figure it out first, because that always meant twice the pain. A round in honour of the king of thieves and then another from the man himself. 

He was starting to see a silver lining to his life as he turned onto a back alley shortcut he and his brother’s would take when they were in their late teens. Maybe he’s had a shit day. His first day off since he’d gotten back to this God forsaken hellhole was filled with too many mishaps, a broken phone and an upended text message from a guy Mickey was seemingly starting to really like. But he got out. He’s free from his father’s merciless grip and he has been for four years now.

Obviously, the moment the usually cynical Mickey Milkvoich starts to see the sun peeking out from the ominous dark clouds that has covered him all his life, is when the calm of the eye of the hurricane decides to leave him, dragging behind it the gusty winds and destruction of a storm Mickey hadn’t seen coming. A storm in the form of his father’s minions. 

Mickey’d be lying if he said they hadn’t changed one bit, because in reality the drugs and beatings they collected over the last four years showed, with their sunken in eyes and bony cheeks. He’d also be lying if he said he hadn’t considered running in the opposite direction. 

“The prodigal son returns!” one of them bellows into the echoey alley, they called him Scotty back then.

Mickey rocks on the balls of his feet taking a glance behind him but quickly notices two more he’s never seen before are closing in from behind. 

“You know, Remi and I had a bet going. I said, the only way a Milkovich would disappear, with no word, was he had to be fucking dead. No way would Mickey fucking Milkovich would go against his fucking loyalty.” he gets up to Mickey’s face, the stench of alcohol engulfing Mickey, “I guess I owe you huh, Remi?”

Scotty partially steps to the side where Remi is leaning against a red brick building, a cigarette dangling from his lips. “Guess so.” he says. His voice is a lot colder and gravelly that Mickey remembers and it sends a chill down his spine. He slowly pushes off the building and begins to close the distance, making it all the more easy for Mickey to see how he’s wrinkled over the years.

“I’d say Mickey here, has no fucking loyalty.” he scoffs, “because if he did, he wouldn’t have left us for dead. Oh uh by the way, the Sinaola run went just fine, in case you were wondering. I mean Max didn’t make it home but we made a shit ton of cash.” Remi smirks showing off the few gold teeth he’s sporting. Mickey’s stomach drops as he remembers the anxiety he’d felt sitting in the hospital watching over Nico, knowing he wasn’t going to show up at the drop point at the Silos. 

The first blow came before Mickey could blink twice, landing between his ribs making him double over, Remis calloused hand gripped the neck of his jacket keeping him from falling over, “That’s for Max.”

A groan ripped from Mickey’s throat as he collected a knee to the face with a crunch, “That’s for having no loyalty.” Warmth spread across his nose and trickled down his lips.

A loud boisterous laugh echoed around him, “You a fucking pussy now? The wild dog! Never had a leash on you. You finally gone tame?” Scotty taunted. 

Mickey’s fight instinct itched at his skin begging to crawl out through his fingertips and sink into the flesh of half a dozen faces that all looked just like his father. Black dots blurred his vision as he staggered backward then forward trying to get a good footing on the uneven tar. Mickey wants to fight back. But all he can think of is that little blonde haired boy with the blue eyes and tiny fingers that always grab at Mickey’s hands when they’re walking. He thinks of the life he’s been living happily, away from all this torment and hell. When he was seventeen years old, a beating within an inch of his life didn’t matter because he didn’t see how his circumstances could get any better than that. Now, he’s gotten a taste of freedom, and he’s got too much to lose. “Or maybe he doesn’t wanna get his nails dirty.” one of the newbies calls from the sidelines. 

“You a fag now?” it isn’t Terry that asks the question because he’s six feet under, but Mickey sure as hell hears his voice. And even though he can almost see Terry materialise in front of his eyes, he hears Dari’s voice,  _ I’ve known you’ve been gay since you were fourteen, Mickey, but I’m glad you told me. It doesn’t change anything, I still love you. And your mom would too.  _ He doesn’t deny it. He’s gotten used to four years of living a free life. Meeting a few guys for coffee and having sex at gay clubs. He doesn’t feel the rush and urgency to cover his tracks the way he did when he lived in his father’s house.

“No argument?” 

“Hey Remi,” Scotty’s got that twang in his voice like he’s about to stir the pot and Mickey searched through his hazey vision for an escape, “You know how much Terry hated fags. How’d you think he’d feel to have a cock loving son?” Scotty grabs him by his hair and tugs hard before swinging his next arm to clock Mickey right in the jaw. Mickey’s about to blackout, his vision is coming and going and he can hardly breathe through his broken nose. 

“Well, he certainly wouldn’t like that. Gotta teach Mickey here a lesson, in honour of the man himself.” Mickey drops to the wet tar as he collects six blows about the body, knocking the wind out of him. And they keep coming. 

He doesn’t know how long it goes on for or how many times he’s been kicked and punched. He’s hot all over, and wet, and he feels his shirt beginning to cling to his body, the last thing he remembers is a faint sound of a guy’s voice, “I think that’s enough! He’s almost dead. You’ve proved your point.” he sounds like Max, but Mickey thinks he’s dead already and his only friend from his teen years was just guiding him to the light. 

***

The sun is setting when he comes to. His face is pressed into the rough tar road and his body is limp but the only thing he could think of was getting up, and going because he needed to get Nico from school.


	7. Blurred Vision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One brief spark of a moment before Mickey is gathering himself and rushing into the house grabbing up his son and their belongings before he leaves, and Ian is left standing in his home with the only sound of his daughter’s faint snores and his sister’s know-it-all voice saying i told you not do anything stupid to comfort him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like hiding under a rock every time i come back and say sorry for taking so long. Life has just been a hectic bitch lately and it's been beyond my control. 
> 
> I hope you are all doing really well and keeping safe. i hope you haven't abandoned me with this story. I'm not leaving it hanging it just takes me a while to update. I really hope you all enjoy this chapter.

Ian’s always been known as the calm Gallagher. Despite his occasional manic episodes and flare for the dramatics, he’s always been able to stay calm in stressful situations. He thinks it’s part of the reason he is so good at his job. There’s only a few people Ian’s ever felt that rush of worry and crippling anxiety for; his daughter whenever she seemed to be hurting or ill, his sister when she had complications after giving birth to Franny and now Mickey, broken and bloodied Mickey. His family’s always been in shitty situations but they’ve never looked like they were within an inch of their life or like they couldn’t get out of the mess they’d most definitely put themselves into, so even if he was concerned for them he wasn’t frantic about their safety. 

He’s gripping tightly onto the steering wheel as he makes the short drive to their home. He could hardly help the way his eyes occasionally dart to the limp man laying in the passenger seat with his arm held to his ribs.

There’s something deep within Ian that hurts when he saw Mickey limping across the school yard, dripping blood and clutching helplessly to his side. It’s like a pound of lead had been dropped to the pit of his stomach and he couldn’t move. That was until he heard Nico and Zoey crying at the scene. They say a child’s cry was special to a parent and he believes so. It was enough to rip him from his daze and let himself settle into his work mode. This he could do. He was quick on his feet to close the distance between him and the injured Milkovich, letting his eyes assess the damage as best as he could in the withering daylight. 

“What the fuck happened?” He gritted out as he pulled back a blood drenched lock of black hair from Mickey’s face. Mickey didn’t answer; he just looked down to where Nico had approached him and reached an arm out toward him. Nico’s eyes were welled up with tears and he nervously bit his bottom lip as he latched onto Mickey’s leg and pressed his face into his father’s jeans. 

“Come on, Let’s get you cleaned up,” Ian ushered as he took the backpack his daughter dragged.

“No, I’m fine,” Mickey argued trying to walk in the opposite direction from Ian’s car but not making it very far. 

Ian walked around Mickey so he was once again in his line of sight and tilted his head until Mickey met his eyes, “It’s not up for discussion. Come on.” Ian could tell how much pain and exhaustion Mickey felt, he could see it in his eyes as the dark haired man sighed and nodded before turning to follow Ian and Zoey. 

Now he’s driving home and the ride feels longer with the silence in the car, except for the occasional groan of pain. His eyes darted from Mickey to the road to the rearview mirror to look at the kids. They’re quiet and scared and Ian doesn’t know the right words to say. 

When they get to the house he pulls up to the curb and immediately gets out once the car is turned off, going around to the other side of the car to get the kids out in what can be considered record time, he fishes the keys from his pocket and slips an arm around Mickey’s waist trying his best to bear some of the other man’s weight. But the Milkovich man isn’t giving in, he pulls away until he Ian gives him a stern look and with a muttered  _ fuck _ and an eyeroll he accepted Ian’s help. 

Ian could just tell that the other man would be the death of him.

***

Ian’s house is cozy. Well from what Mickey could tell through a busted up eye and slightly blurred vision. There’s a couple coats hanging on the walls of the tiny foyer and when he flicks on the lights and illuminated the living room, Mickey could see dozens of family photos hanging on the walls and a soft wool blanket hanging on the back of the couch. It’s very homey and Mickey feels like he sticks out like a sore bloody thumb. Literally. 

Ian moves like he isn’t even bothered that Mickey is in his home. He disappears into what Mickey assumes is the kitchen and returns with two small plates with some sort of casserole dished onto it. He watches from the entryway as Ian sets the kids up at the dining table to eat and gives them both a glass of juice. If it wasn’t for the warm trickling of blood down his face of the increasing pain in his abdomen he’d be smiling and maybe even blushing at how great of a guy Ian is. 

“If you two need anything call out okay? I’m gonna get Mickey cleaned up.” Ian says as he’s bent to below eye level of the two kids. He runs his hand through his daughter’s hair brushing back the strands that had fallen out during the day. 

Mickey doesn’t notice he’s been staring and lost in his flowery thoughts of Ian until the redhead himself is the only thing in his line of view, with those big green eyes filled with worry. He nudges his head for Mickey to follow him into the bathroom just off the hallway to the right. It looks pretty much just like Mickey expected, with toys thrown around and a brightly coloured shower curtain. 

Mickey hasn’t said anything and Ian’s doesn’t seem too bothered by it as he takes out a rather large first aid kit and closes the toilet seat with a gesture for Mickey to take a seat. “Fucking large first aid kit.” Mickey tries to make light of the situation but how light can you really make this? 

Ian chuckles as he kneels down in front of Mickey and unzips the massive bag, “All the ones they sell at the pharmacy are a waste of time. I know what you need in times of emergency so I made my own.” 

Ian doesn’t say much while he gets the alcohol wipes ready, or as he rips open a new suture kit. “You’re probably going to have a scar. I still think you should have gone to the hospital.” He says as he gets to work on the gash just above Mickey’s left eye. 

“Why do that when I got my own Clark Kent right here?” Ian blushes when Mickey says it but he doesn’t let it tremble his steady hands. 

They’re mostly silent while Ian stitches his face and cleans his upper lip. And despite the pain radiating throughout his body and the sadness that sits heavy in his heart, having Ian this close to him makes his heart flutter a little bit, it’s got the hairs on his skin standing up. Ian suddenly stands up then and says something Mickey wanted to hear…just in different circumstances. 

“Take your shirt off.” 

“I’m fine.” Mickey fought back, before earning another glare from those green eyes. If that was the look Zoey got when she wasn’t complying Mickey could only imagine she never did anything wrong. 

“Take it off so I can access the damage to your ribs, if anything is broken you’re definitely going to the ER.” Mickey rolled his eyes but did as he was told, wincing loudly as he shuffled his blood soaked T-shirt off his body. Ian’s hands were warm when he touched and palpated his abdomen and Mickey hopes Ian doesn’t feel the sheen of goosebumps that breaks out across his skin. 

“I think you have a fractured rib, nothing too serious. A week off from work and you’ll be fine...but you should check with a doctor.” He smoothed his warm hand over the budding bruise in Mickey’s rib cage. Mickey is looking at the way the worry doesn’t seem to dissipate from those green eyes that are so attentive. Ian sort of flinched like he’d been burned with a troubling thought and took his hands off Mickey’s pale skin. He shook two pills out of a bottle and held them out as he stood up, “for the pain.” He didn’t look at Mickey as he zipped his bag up and pushed it to the side, or when he got up and left the bathroom. Mickey doesn’t know what he did or what he said. Ian returned with a clean T-shirt and sweatpants that he held out, he smiled tightly as he said, “My sister made the casserole, you should eat,” before disappearing again. 

Mickey steps out of the bathroom and he realizes he’s never had any of this before. He’s never had someone who would clean him up after he’d been beaten to within an inch of his life. He’s never had someone who insisted he ate a hot meal after a stressful day. He’s never had any of these things except for when he lived with Dari. It makes him miss her all the more when he sits across from Ian at the dinner table and eats the meal Ian had placed in front of him while the kids settled in front of the television. 

They stay silent for much of the meal even though Mickey could feel Ian’s eyes on him ever so often, itching to ask what had happened, or who had done it. But the redhead didn’t press, he silently sat and casted Mickey with concerned worried looks when Mickey would wince and he looked like he was about to get up at least three times to check Mickey again. The food is a warm home cooked meal that only makes Mickey think of his aunt all the more and the life he left to be back in this neighbourhood of nightmares. He wonders just how long it’ll take for him to convince Mandy that this isn’t the place for either of them. He wonders how long she’s going to make him beg her to move away with him. Ian getting up from the table is what pulls Mickey’s attention away from his consuming thoughts. He watched carefully as the redhead picked up the dirty dishes, put away the remaining casserole and cleaned up the kitchen. Ian exits the room for a small moment before returning with a soft smile, “The kids are completely out for the count. It’s been a long day for everyone. I have a perfectly good guest room if you two would like to stay.”

Mickey thinks it’s the worst idea. He shouldn’t be in this beautiful man’s house. He should not be sleeping in his guest room and he should not be happy he asked him to stay. But the thought of having to walk through the light sprinkle of rain, all the way home with a sleeping kid on his shoulder while he nurses his injuries is enough for Mickey to agree. “Uh...is it okay if I smoke?” Mickey asks.

“Yeah, we can go out on the balcony, it stays pretty dry despite the rain and I can use a smoke too,” Mickey nods and thanks him before heading out onto the balcony. He stops by and checks on his kid who fell asleep beside Zoey both clutching tiredly to some toy trucks. He smiles at the sight before going out for a much needed smoke. It’s not long after that Ian follows him onto the balcony with two bottles of beer, one Mickey notices is non-alcoholic. “What’s the point if it doesn’t give you a buzz?”

Ian shrugs slightly as he takes a seat beside Mickey on the other old rusting lounging chairs. Ian doesn’t give more on it but Mickey notices the dimmer in his gaze. Maybe the guy isn’t used to drinking around his kid. Mickey knows he himself has cut back tremendously. His lights up and takes a long drag allowing the nicotine to ease his nerves

The silence is almost comfortable.  _ Almost. _ It would be entirely so if it weren’t for Ian fiddling with his thumbs while moving uneasily like he wants to ask a question. Mickey wonders how long it would take for him to fucking spit it out. The guy’s got more balls on him that Mickey thinks because he snaps out of his dance relatively quickly. 

“What happened...I mean...you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want but, fuck Mick...who did this?”

Ian turns his body so that he’s facing Mickey and it kind of just makes Mickey want to tell him more.

“This is what happens when you grow up on the Southside with the biggest homophobe as a father and turn out to be the thing your dad hates most in this world...gay.” Mickey isn’t really quite sure why he says it...only he is. He hates and loves the look of concern in Ian’s eyes and he wants to tell him the thing he knows the other man has been wondering since the day they met. And even if he’d just been beaten for the very same fact he’d just spurted out, he doesn’t get the choking anxiety that comes when he usually says it. He could tell from the look in Ian’s eyes he wasn’t quite expecting it, with his green eyes stunned wide open and his lips are quivering like he wants to say something but not quite sure what.

“You’re...gay?” he kind of just chuckles around it.

Mickey knows it isn’t in a condescending way so he doesn’t feel every hair on his neck stand up. 

“You know, if I made a bet on if you were gay or not, I’d surely loose my money,” he seems to turn over a thought and then in a much softer voice he asks, “Your dad do this?” 

“No, if he did...I wouldn’t be breathing,” Mickey takes a deep breath in, “Couple weeks ago he finally kicked the bucket. After every shitty thing he’s done, it’s a fucking red traffic light and a garbage truck that takes him out...Mandy thinks it’s poetic or some shit...I think it was too fucking sweet a death for him.” He’s rambling but he’s never said this shit out loud, “I wasn’t even gonna come back for the funeral. Mandy’s piece of shit boyfriend went on a run with Terry and he got bulldozed too. I only came back for her...and she hasn’t been handling it well so I stayed.” He knows it’s a lie. Mandy’s been okay, he isn’t sure  _ he _ could be alone right now, despite the distraction parenting provides. 

“So who…” 

“His goons, I was running late for Nico and I took a back street that used to be part of their territory and I guess word got around that I like it up the ass.” 

  
  


***

Ian wasn’t expecting Mickey to say it. He most definitely wasn’t expecting him to tell him how he liked it either. Ian could feel his face redden at the implication that Mickey most definitely liked to bottom. And suddenly all the thoughts he’s been waning away all week come flooding his mind like it’s somehow okay to think about Mickey like that now that he knows he isn’t straight. He finds himself getting up and retrieving them both beers for some kind of reprieve so he wouldn’t say some dumb shit. He could almost hear Fiona’s motherly voice in his head telling him  _ Don’t do it. _

When he gets back he knows Mickey is still waiting for a response as he carefully watches him settle at the end of Mickey’s lounge chair instead of his own, “I think you’re really fucking strong. To live under a dad who...you couldn’t be _ you _ around...I wouldn’t have survived. I mean I was never Frank’s favourite but when he found out I was gay he didn’t bat an eye.” Ian turns and he looks at those bruised blue eyes. Mickey has this pained appreciative smile. “I think you’re amazing. I know I’ve barely known you but...You’re such a good dad and Nico is so lucky to have someone like you. You’re doing really good.” 

He swears to God the atmosphere changes. It almost crackles and Mickey leans in. Ian’s eyes are drawn to the swollen pink bottom lip that has a droplet of beer on it. He watched Mickey’s tongue poke out to swipe up the liquid and he felt himself lean in closer. And Fiona’s voice is blaring loud in his head like it usually is. But like all the times before he doesn't pay heed to it. It’s for a brief moment that their lips touch before Mickey pulls away. One brief spark of a moment before Mickey is gathering himself and rushing into the house grabbing up his son and their belongings before he leaves, and Ian is left standing in his home with the only sound of his daughter’s faint snores and his sister’s  _ know-it-all  _ voice saying  _ i told you not do anything stupid _ to comfort him.


	8. An Angel on the Dancefloor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suddenly he lets his eyes that he hadn’t realised were closed open. And his world freezes. He must be drunker than he had thought because he lays eyes on none other than Mickey Milkovich sitting at the bar in the center of the club and he’s looking right at him. With those soft pink lips parted slightly. Ian hasn’t been able to stop thinking of those lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! My apologies for this update being so late in the night. I have been meaning to upload this chapter for some days now, I just keep forgetting! But at last I am here. I hope you all enjoy this chapter as I enjoyed writing this and building on the suspense. My apologies for the frustration with these two getting together, and I'd like to stress that this is not a fic that Mickey is scared to be gay in. He has accepted himself a long time ago. 
> 
> I hope you are all safe and healthy and keeping well. We're well on our way to Christmas now and despite having finals soon I do plan on updating this soon. Also, I have something special planned for Christmas 😉

Mickey knows he was a complete and utter ass. He knows it only seconds after picking a sleeping Nico up in his arms and running out late at night through the rain to get home with a fractured rib and a dozen more injuries, all because a sexy redhead kissed him. He chastises himself for it for the five days that follow. In reality, he has no reason to be afraid. He isn’t afraid. No, it isn’t that. Well more specifically he should say he isn’t afraid that he’s gay. He hasn’t been afraid of that in four years. No. He has a kid, who he cares about, who he doesn’t want to put in harm’s way. A kid who really likes Ian. And if Mickey is really being honest with himself, he really likes Ian too. That’s what scares him. How much Ian makes his stomach flutter. He knows he probably hurt the redhead’s feelings and he’s going to have to suck it up sooner or later and fix it. Apologize and gently let Ian know they can’t happen, for the sake of their kids. Tonight is not that night however. 

Tonight he needs the redhead off his mind. He needs a good few drinks, maybe a joint or two and warm body that’ll just erase any memories of soft pliant pink lips. That’s why he’s dressed in his best that he packed for Chicago, and giving Mandy and Nico the rules for the night, “No candy, no soft drink, no staying up late.” The nephew-aunt duo both roll their eyes at him, “I’m being serious.”

“Yeah, yeah. Go have fun, we’re fine here.” Mandy shoved at his shoulder. Mickey had really considered just staying in. This was the first time he had even considered leaving Nico at home but Mandy was quite convincing and had practically begged for a night to hang out with her nephew. Who was he to deny her? Mickey nodded before kneeling at eye level of his son, “You be good okay? I’ll try not to be too late but if I’m not home before your bedtime, I love you okay?” he pulls Nico in kissing his head. 

***

Despite the cold air outside, the club Mickey ends up at is warm inside with stale air that reeks of booze and sweat. It’s been a while since he’s been to this kind of place in Chicago and he can’t help his hackles from rising from just the thought. There’s a lot of young men clad in their best sparkly and crisp get ups grinding against one another as Mickey weaves his way through the crowd and saddles up at the bar. He lets his eyes scan the crowd and assess the market before ordering a jack and oj. The bartender raises an eyebrow at the request but hands the drink over with a wink and a phone number written on the napkin. Mickey can only raise his own brows back before shooting the guy his middle finger and a smirk that lets the guy down easily. After all, he is the one who’d be serving his drinks all night. There was no way Mickey was leaving with that no-doubt-a-bottom twink. Mickey needed something else. 

The music is just a little bit too loud and just the thought of complaining makes him think of Mandy and how she’d no doubt pester him with her old man remarks. It’s something he couldn’t help, even if he tried. Just as Mickey thinks of his sister his eyes land on a group of women letting loose in the middle of the dance floor, all a little too drunk but having fun nonetheless. He looks at the way their eyes crease with happiness and their heads fall back as they laugh even if no one can hear them, all very much at ease as they grind on a few gay men who love the attention and won’t grope them. Mandy likes this kind of scene, and if Mickey had anyone else he trusted with his kid, he was sure Mandy would be there with him doing exactly what those women were doing. He shakes the thoughts away trying now to let the images in his mind branch out into worries about his son. Mandy is capable. They’re fine. He raps his knuckles against the bar top tilting his head at the bartender for another drink. He’s got time, he doesn’t need to rush getting laid.

He feels eyes on him just then and turns toward the pair of leather couches that sit to one end of the club, locking eyes with the darkest gaze he’s ever seen. The guy is tall and slim with the highest cheekbones that draws your eyes down to a pair of full lips. They’re slighting stained red to the center. His black hair is slicked back with one lock falling onto his forehead. Mickey doesn’t miss the assemblage of tattoos that cover the guy's two arms. He looks dangerous and dominant and the way he looks Mickey up and down and licks his lips makes Mickey think, yeah that’s what he’s looking for.

Mickey turns to gather his drink when the bartender taps his shoulder with a knowing smirk. The guy bends closer and calls Mickey forward so he can speak into his ear. “The devil in the corner looks delectable, but the angel on the dancefloor looks like a fucking good time.” Mickey looks over to where the guy points, and sure enough, he sees an angel. Or at least that’s what he looks like with the lights flashing down on him reflecting off the white silk shirt that hangs loosely in all the right places. His red hair beaming despite the coloured fluorescents. He’s rolling his hips against a young brunette girl who throws back onto him with no shame. Mickey watches as the man who’s been on his mind all day sticks his tongue out and rolls his hips even harder as his hand comes down to grip the hem of his shirt and pull it up exposing the pale skin beneath and the trail of red hair that disappears under his jeans. And Mickey is frozen, forgetting about the ‘devil in the corner’. He’s never seen the redhead like this before, always accustomed to seeing him being the responsible dad with his kid. He looks free, happy and so fucking beautiful. The sight of Ian slut dropping to the dance floor, coming back up and throwing his hand in the air as his neck stretches to show the glistening sweat there, it makes something twitch, both inside Mickey’s pants and in his chest. Ian’s eyes find his soon enough and suddenly the redhead too freezes like someone’s just hit pause on the remote. 

***

Ian doesn’t want to go out. Sue’s been asking for too many weeks now and there’s only so many times Ian can say no. He knows he’ll have a good time. He always does when he and Sue hit up the clubs in Boystown. That’s not the issue. Ian would just rather stay at home with his kid and sulk about kissing Mickey and having him run away. Yeah, that’s definitely what he’d rather do. It’s not what he ends up doing though. Not when Fiona picks Zoey up for a sleepover or when he catches an Uber to Sue’s to pregame before they go to the club. So he decides he’s going to make the most of it. 

After Mickey ran out Ian had spent that night berating himself for crossing a very much noticeable line, and mentally kicked himself for choosing to do it when the other man was vulnerable. He felt like a predator and it wasn’t a nice feeling. It’s what had Ian calling Fiona late at night to talk him off the ledge. Thinking back on it, he’s not the only one who leant in and every one knows leaning in is the universal sign for  _ fucking kiss me _ . So he’s past being angry at himself. No, he’s angry at Mickey now. Was the kiss so fucking bad that he had to run out. Ian would have been fine with being rejected but he didn’t have to run out like the building was on fire, kid and injuries in tow. He sighs as he enters the club deciding that he’s not going to think about Mickey anymore, He’s going to have a couple drinks even if they don’t agree with his meds, he can let loose for at least one night, and he’s going to dance the night away. He isn’t interested in any hookups tonight, he just needs a good night with his friend. 

Two martinis in and Ian is drunk. Not sloppy drunk but drunk enough that he doesn’t care how slutty he is dancing. Not that he usually cares in the first place. Sweat drips down the center of his back causing the white silk shirt he’s always had but never wore to cling to his back but still hang loosely in front. The music thumps sending vibrations through the floor of the dance floor and into his bones. He loves this. It feels like it’s been a long time since he’s really let loose like this, always feeling guilty for leaving Zoey with Fiona or for not being there for the nights that he isn’t working. But he thinks Sue was right. He needed this. Too much has been going on lately and this was only healthy. And after the week he’s had he thinks he deserves this. It’s not easy having someone run out on you after kissing you. Suddenly he lets his eyes that he hadn’t realised were closed open. And his world freezes. He must be drunker than he had thought because he lays eyes on none other than Mickey Milkovich sitting at the bar in the center of the club and he’s looking right at him. With those soft pink lips parted slightly. Ian hasn’t been able to stop thinking of those lips. Not since he knows what they feel like. Before Ian could really think, he steps forward and just like that, Mickey bolts again, out the club. 

Ian is quick on his feet running after Mickey. Shoving his way through warm wet bodies until he’s pushing out onto the cold Chicago streets where the air is a lot quieter. He looks up and down the streets and the other man is nowhere to be seen and Ian’s left thinking he’s made it all up. Maybe Mickey was never there. Maybe he feels more guilt about the kiss than he thought. Ian knows he needs to make it right.

The house is too quiet when he gets home that night and climbs into bed. He lays there for a long time replaying the night, or at least the part of it that he’d seen Mickey. Or didn’t see him? He still isn’t sure if he was there at all and Ian grows concerned that maybe he was irresponsible with his drinking, or maybe his meds might need adjusting. He runs a hand down his face and grabs his phone from beside him.

**_Ian (2:43 am) :_ ** _ The more I’ve thought about the other night the more I’ve realised how wrong I was. I never intended to make you feel uncomfortable and I am sorry. You were honest and hurting and I should have known better. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Call me soon, I hope all is well with you and Nico. _

***

It’s too early when the pounding starts on his door. He doesn’t have the worst hangover of his life but a hangover is still a hangover. He grumbles before checking the time to see if he’s slept passed the time to pick Zoey up. Realising he still has another seven hours until the time Fiona told him to be there for he falls back onto bed hoping the person goes away. 

They don’t. 

The pounding starts back up and soon after Ian drags himself out of bed in nothing but a thin pair of boxers. His eyes are barely open as he trudges through the townhouse irresponsibly yanking the door open without checking the peephole. Who finds standing there with tattooed knuckles ready to knock again and wide blue eyes, certainly wakes Ian out of his sleepy haze.

  
  



	9. Royally Fucked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And that’s how he finds himself with a hand over Mickey’s mouth in the quiet of his bedroom while he thrust into him. And Ian finds that in this position- the way he could feel Mickey’s cock trapped between them, as the sweat drips down his thighs and back, and the way Mickey’s eyes flutter closed with arousal and like he’s on the brink of free falling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope all is well and that you are keeping safe. Exams are finally over for me so hopefully that means I can update more often. 
> 
> leave your comments and what you think of that chapter, I would really love to hear your thoughts much love<3

He’s thought a lot about this since last night. In fact, he hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep. For his entire life, Mickey always hated it the most when his dad looked him square in the eye and called him a pussy. It was that one insult among the many that made Mickey feel weak. He hated it sometimes more than hearing his dad bash queers. But after the night he’d had, he feels like nothing more than a fucking pussy. He ran. He still can’t fucking believe he turned on his heels and ran away. For no good reason too. Why does he keep running away from Ian? Mickey thinks it’s because he’s never felt so attracted to someone before. But something small at the back of his mind tells him that’s not exactly it. That’s why he’s here now. Standing on the guy’s doorstep with what he thinks is the best solution to the problem.

He doesn’t think about it. He just does it. As soon as Ian yanks the door open in nothing but a thin pair of blue and white plaid boxers with messed up red hair, he gives Mickey a head to toe look and before he can say a single word Mickey does it. He launches himself at the redhead and crashes their lips together. It takes a moment of two before Ian can respond but his hand wraps around Mickey’s waist and his lips begin to move tiredly compared to Mickey’s aggressive ones. Mickey gasps when he feels Ian’s warm wet tongue prodding at his lips and the gasp gives Ian exactly what he was looking for. He licks into Mickey’s mouth slowly but forcefully and Mickey already feels addicted. He pushes against Ian’s chest and steps back, breathing heavily. He thumbs at his lip as he kicks the door closed. 

“I’m not afraid.” he mutters.

“Never said you were.” Ian’s voice is raspy and raw from sleep.

“My kid...he likes you. He likes your kid. He hasn’t had a lot of friends. Neither have I. I didn’t wanna mess that up for him...for us.” Mickey takes a step forward crowding Ian against the back of the couch, “He doesn’t find out about this.”

Ian’s fingers dig into Mickey’s hips, “What is  _ this _ ?” 

“It’s two friends, casually enjoying each other.” Mickey kisses at Ian’s jaw dragging his tongue along the stubble.

Ian seems to turn it over once in his head before he pulls his head back looking Mickey in the eye, “One promise.”

“What’s that?”

“It doesn’t get between us. It doesn’t change the friendship.”

“I promise.”

“Then you’ve got yourself a deal.” Ian says firmly.

Mickey starts nipping at Ian’s neck again, “Good, now take me to your fucking bedroom.”

***

It wasn’t the ideal arrangement. It wasn’t the one Ian had conjured up in his mind the night before when he had sent that text message or thought about how Mickey’s lips felt against his own. But Ian couldn’t see how he could not accept the deal. If he was honest with anyone, Ian knew that he’d take any ludicrous arrangement Mickey suggested as long as Ian got to have some little part of him. And if Ian’s heart raced until it felt like it was climbing out of his throat, and he felt a flutter of butterflies come to life within the pit of his stomach, then so be it. He had to keep telling himself until he believed it that he wouldn’t get hurt. He could do the friends with benefits thing no matter how smitten he already was with Mickey. He wasn’t fourteen years old anymore and he  _ won’t  _ get feelings. Not when Mickey’s calloused hands ran down his bare chest and curled around his arousal and not when pink soft lips crashed against his. 

Ian felt relieved when Mickey climbed onto all fours and arched his back with his face pressed into the mattress. Fucking face-to-face would only make this harder. Ian ran his own hand up Mickey’s back as his lubed finger traced Mickey’s rim and slowly dipped in as he gripped the back of Mickey’s neck. Ian could feel his own cock bead at the tip with precum at the sound of Mickey’s moans. He let his head fall back as he looked to the ceiling asking whatever holy entity that existed to be still his heart. 

He quickened the pace of prepping Mickey before slipping the condom on and lining himself up. When Ian pressed in he held still for a short moment so he won’t embarrassingly blow his load but when he did start his punishing pace Mickey’s voice became muffled by the comforter as he begged for more despite Ian giving his all. And when they both became a heaping mess of cum, sweat and the stench of sex, Ian knew he was already done for but he didn’t protest when Mickey smacked his lips against Ian’s bare chest before climbing out of bed and gathering his clothing. He didn’t show his disappointment when he feigned a smile and agreed to the play date that weekend. Ian would take any little piece of Mickey that the black haired man was willing to give.

***

“I’m a fucking idiot!” He buries his face in his hands where he stands at the counter in Fiona’s kitchen.

“You’re not an idiot. We all make questionable choices like that in this family, you wouldn’t be a Gallagher if you didn’t. Just tell him you’re not down for his rules.” Fiona shrugs like it’s no big deal.

Ian looks up at her like she’s grown another head, “Are you crazy? I can’t do that, if I do then he’d know I like him.”

“Your point?”

“My POINT is that he clearly doesn’t feel the same way. If he did we wouldn’t be in this situation, I’m not going to put myself in such an embarrassing position.”

Fiona chuckles and shrugs, “Okay, I’m of no help in that department then...how about we talk about something I can help with?” She looks into the living room at the Zoey who is watching TV with Liam and then looks back to Ian and whispers, “Zoey’s birthday party.”

Ian decides on his way home that evening that he’s going to have to let Mickey know he won’t be down for their arrangement. He really is going to. The next time he sees him he’s goi-...

The thought quickly disappears from his brain that night when Mickey sends him a text.

**_Mickey:_ ** _ Up for round two? _

And that’s how he finds himself with a hand over Mickey’s mouth in the quiet of his bedroom while he thrust into him. And Ian finds that in this position- the way he could feel Mickey’s cock trapped between them, as the sweat drips down his thighs and back, and the way Mickey’s eyes flutter closed with arousal and like he’s on the brink of free falling. The way his pink lips part and blow hot air into the inside of Ian’s palm or the way he reaches his tattooed knuckles and pulls at Ian’s red hair- he most definitely is not falling for Mickey Milkovich. He can do cool and casual. No feelings, no attachments. Just friends who fucked. He could do this.

Who was he kidding? He was royally fucked.


	10. The Look

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He knows why he did it, but he isn’t going to admit it to himself. Especially not when Ian is looking at him like that. Like he did something that meant so much more than it needed to mean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys a bit late but, Happy New year. Hope you all are keeping safe, and the new year is treating you well. This update is long awaited and I'm sorry it took this long. 
> 
> I never got around to posting my Christmas multichapter because a lot has been going on for me since before the holidays but if that is something you would be interested in reading even though Christmas is over please let me know because it's something I wanna share with you guys. It's an enemies to lovers fic. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter and I promise it's gonna pick up soon.

Mickey knows it isn’t what his heart wants but he’s decided he’s gonna make the ‘smart’ decision and ignore his heart, ‘cause the fuck does his heart know anyway. He knows Chicago isn’t the place for him and with every day that goes by he keeps asking himself more and more why he’s even staying in the first place. He knows the longer he stays the harder it will be to rip Nico from his old neighborhood. He knows deep down he’s hoping Mandy comes with him and he keeps telling himself that’s why he’s stayed this long. To convince her that she needs him and Nico. That she’s better than this place. The reason for him staying in Chicago, a place that’s haunted his nightmares for years is most definitely not because of the gangly redhead with the breathtaking smile and insanely cute kid that makes Mickey think of having a husband and big family one day. No, definitely not that.

The door to Ian’s room remained open and thank fuck no kid was in sight because neither of them had the patience or time to do anything but rip the clothing off the other at 1pm on a Tuesday. Ian had worked a night shift again and Mickey had been lucky enough to have a day off when Ian texted him after dropping Zoey to school asking him if he was busy. If he sped through his errands and kept checking his phone for a message from the redhead saying he’d woken up from his power nap...no one needed to know. The minute Ian had opened the door with the sexy bedhead and lowly hung sweatpants, Mickey was on him crashing their mouths violently and gripping toned freckled arms as said arms hoisted him up and took him to the bedroom. Ian seemed as equally eager when he threw Mickey onto the bed and salaciously licked at his lips as he watched Mickey from the foot of the bed. He grinned mischievously before yanking his tank top off and throwing it to some corner of the room before dipping his thumbs into the waistband of his sweats. They were gone before Mickey could sit up to peel them off the redhead and Ian was pouncing on him just as quickly all but tearing Mickey’s clothing off. Mickey made a mental side note to look for his favourite pair of boxers when they were finished as Ian threw it. 

Ian had a hunger in his eyes but he also had this look, like he fucking  _ saw _ Mickey and the brunette had to let his head fall back with eyes shut close before he could start fucking feeling things he didn’t want to think about. Instead he focused on the way Ian’s lips felt wrapped around his nipples and how his long fingers dug deliciously into Mickey’s hip bones, sure to leave some kind of bruise in the hours after. “Fuck” it was muted and breathy but enough for Ian to hear and chuckle at.

“Been thinking about this all shift. Getting my hands on you.” Ian’s head dips lower and he leaves large open mouthed kisses around Mickey’s navel before dipping in causing Mickey to arch off the bed and his hand to instinctively thread through Ian’s red hair. “These hips,” he nips at Mickey’s v-line, “this cock.” he looks up at the same time Mickey’s eyes open because even though Mickey doesn’t wanna confront  _ that look _ in Ian’s eyes, he wants to see the moment Ian puts his mouth on him. Ian doesn’t break eye contact as he pokes his tongue out to lap at the wet head of Mickey’s dick that’s lying against his stomach. Mickey’s eyes close again from the pleasure and it’s a pleasure that numbs him, it consumes him like he hadn’t done this same act eighteen hours before. It’s like he’s never tasted Ian, like this is the first time. And he keeps his eyes close when Ian’s finished prodding and stretching him and settles above him with his head tucked sweetly into Mickey’s shoulder as he moans all hot and breathy when he pushes in. And Mickey fucking  _ loves  _ the feeling. The smell of Ian filling his nose and he loses himself in it when he lets his arms wrap around the other man’s broad shoulders and pull him in close but he doesn’t open his eyes because he knows Ian will have  _ the look _ . The soft look filled with all those feelings like he loves nothing better than having Mickey this pliant underneath him. Instead of letting any words slip from his lips when he falls over the precipice of his arousal his lets his teeth sink into Ian’s shoulder roughly and lets the vibrations of the other man float through him until they’re both spent.

And by the time Mickey is rolling off the side of the bed to slip into his strewn clothing he hears a muffled snore from behind him. When he finally stands and pulls his jeans up, his eyes land on a sleeping redhead with the most peaceful look on his face. His heart breaks a little at the sight, because Mickey knows he’s lying to himself about how he feels. He’s lying to Ian. He just doesn’t want to get hurt, too attached. He doesn’t want to hurt the redhead when he inevitably rips the bandaid off and hightails his ass out of Chicago because he knows this place isn’t for him. He made it out. He doesn’t want to end up here and he mentally hits himself in the head when he gets the idea of staying. The clock on the bedside beeps and Mickey notices it’s almost time for both men to leave to get their kids from the school but he couldn’t find it in his heart to wake the man sleeping before him. So he moves as quietly as he can around the room collecting his discarded clothes and he picks up Ian’s set of keys on the kitchen counter before quietly shutting the door behind him.

***

When Ian comes to, the first thing he notices is the wetness of drool against his cheek and the tightness of his muscles after a really fucking good sleep. The next thing, and the thing that has him sitting up abruptly, was the sound of his daughter’s laughter from the other room. He looked around his room quickly while he wiped at his face, trying to retrace his steps. He doesn’t remember how he’d managed to fall into such deep sleep. He remembers dropping Zoey off to school, texting Mickey and then some really good sex...he guesses the sex was too fucking good because he basically blacked out. He probably sent a last minute text to Fiona to get Zoey.

He slips off the bed and into some sweatpants and yanks his drawer open to find a clean t-shirt when he hears it. Unmistakably, Mickey’s voice and laugh coming from the next room. Ian grabs the first shirt his hand lands on then and slips it on while he trudges into the living room where he finds the most bittersweet sight. Mickey is in the kitchen with the two kids sitting at the counter and they’re all laughing at something Zoey said. There’s an open box of pizza lying between them and a string of cheese hanging from Nico’s mouth and Ian kind of hates how much he loves the sight. He should have put an end to him and Mickey days ago. He shouldn’t have let it carry on this long knowing his heart is only growing more attached. 

“Well if it isn’t sleepyhead,” Mickey says, shaking Ian out of his reverie. The redhead’s eyes drift from the two kids to Mickey, who is no doubt about it looking over his every inch, licking at his lips. Ian clears his throat as he walks further into the room, drops a gentle kiss to his daughter's head and ruffles the little boy’s hair before wiping the string of cheese from the corner of his mouth. “Pizza for dinner, huh?” 

“Mickey said pizza is healthy.” Zoey laughed looking knowingly at her dad. 

Ian chuckles as the two kids push their empty plates away and slide off their chairs, “I’m sure he did.” Ian looks over to the brunette again who is still looking at his every move and if it wasn’t Mickey who had suggested their arrangement in the first place Ian would have assumed that maybe Mickey feels the same way he does. But he doesn’t, so Ian shakes himself from the thoughts.

“Dad, can I show Nico my new Frozen dolls Uncle Lip got me?” Zoey asked as she unceremoniously wiped her messy mouth into the sleeve of her grey t-shirt.

“Sure, sweet pea. I’m gonna eat okay?”

“Okay, daddy” and just like that she ran off with Nico in tow leaving Ian standing awkwardly in his new kitchen with this man. 

“I-uh-You were pretty much out for the count so I didn’t wanna wake you. Figured I’d get them while you rest.” Mickey blushes as he says it and he docks his head toward his chest when he pushes a plate with a slice of pizza on it toward Ian.

And now Ian’s no longer awkwardly standing there but instead he’s pretty sure if they listened carefully they could hear the sound of his heart falling directly into Mickey’s hands.

***

He knows why he did it, but he isn’t going to admit it to himself. Especially not when Ian is looking at him like that. Like he did something that meant so much more than it needed to mean.

“How’d you get the school to let you take her home?” Ian asks with a smirk as he shovels his slice of pizza into his mouth.

Mickey scratches at the back of his head and lets his eyes dart around the room like he does when he’s nervous before he settles his eyes on Nico’s shoes that he’d kicked off in the middle of Ian’s kitchen. He pads over and picks them up and fiddles with the velcro straps. “I uh...Fiona called your phone after we...I told her you fell asleep and I was heading over there anyways to get Nico so she called the school.” 

“Thanks Mick.” and he says it in this  _ way _ that sends chills down Mickey’s spine and he’s never liked how that nickname sounded until now, “There’s beer in the fridge if you want.” Ian gets up and walks over to the corner where the coffee maker sits and opens a little straw basket with a cover...one like what Mickey remembers his mom having. 

Mickey heads over to the fridge after putting Nico’s shoes to the side neatly, to get the drink but his eyes hardly leaves the redhead who pulls out one of those pill organisers with the days of the week and the morning and evening slot. And Mickey can’t help himself but watch as Ian throws two pills to the back of his throat and swallows. It’s only when Ian grabs a glass from the cupboard above and turns to fill it with water from the fridge’s dispenser does he catch Mickey staring at him with his mouth agape.

Ian kind of freezes with this deer caught in the headlights look and Mickey knows he should fucking look away but it’s like his eyes doesn’t want to listen to his brain.

“Ah...I...I’m not just poppin’ pills I swear.” And Mickey kind of wants to punch himself in the face when he realises what Ian thinks he’s thinking. Mickey rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck out of his stupor, “Didn’t think so.” he says plainly as he takes his beer and sits at the counter.

Ian gets his water, sips and then sits opposite Mickey where he’s left his half eaten food. There’s an uncomfortable silence that settles into the room and Mickey realises it’s the first time he’s ever felt the tension in the air around them was slightly off balance. He picks at the label on his beer bottle before blurting, “Are you okay...Like are you sick or something?” His voice goes all soft the way it does when he’s talking to his kid and he kind of hates that even though he doesn’t want to admit how feels to himself, those feelings seems to just slither out on their own.

“I…” Ian starts but stops and grows silent like he’s weighing his options.

“Sorry, man. You don’t gotta tell me. Forget I asked.” Mickey brushes it off.

“No, it’s not that I don’t wanna tell you,” Ian’s voice is small and soft and Mickey doesn’t miss how his eyes cast down at himself, “I’m bipolar...I’ve known for the same amount of time I’ve had my kid, but I’m stable...as stable as I’d ever be maybe.”

“Bipolar,” Mickey tests it out on his tongue before looking at Ian, “I’ve uh...heard about that. You okay though?” 

“Yeah, Mick...I’m okay.” and there it is. That same fucking look. Like Ian thinks he knows something.

“Good.” Mickey says before he gets up and walks around the corner of the counter. He squeezes the other man’s shoulder, “I should probably get the kid home, I’ve got work early in the morning.”

“Thanks again...for letting me sleep and getting my kid.”

Mickey shrugs like it’s no big deal and honestly it isn’t. He’s really fond of the little redheaded chatterbox and he likes the way his son could never stop laughing around her. In fact he’s pretty sure that the feelings he doesn’t want to admit, include Zoey. And maybe he doesn’t want to say out loud to anyone but that night Mickey thinks he admits it to at least himself. And he’s fucking scared when he leaves with his son holding his hand and a Paw Patrol backpack hooked to his arm. He’s fucking terrified that his heart is slowly growing and making space where he was sure there would never be any more for any one other than his son. But it happens. And he knows that even if he does leave Chicago, the two redheaded Gallagher’s will still have that place in his heart. 

  
  



	11. Another Dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey recalls how easily his son had accepted what he’d told him about different families that morning on their way to school and he thinks, this is why I left Chicago, because if he hadn’t, he wouldn’t have been able to teach Nico about all the different kinds of love. And definitely wouldn’t have been able to look his son in the eye and say, “Well, I like men, kid. So maybe another dad?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow look at me, two updates in a week, who am I? 
> 
> This chapter was actually one of my absolute favourites to write. I enjoy writing this version of Mickey so much. I hope you all enjoy this chapter the way i enjoyed writing it. Hope you love the Ian-Mickey talking part, I think it's a healthy thing that canon gallavich never get the opportunity to do.
> 
> Enjoy and i hope you all stay safe and healthy

He takes a moment to let his breathing regulate while his heart rate slows, indulging fully in the cigarette perched on his lips and the smoke filling his lungs. There’s a sheen of sweat covering his bare body that is only slightly covered by Ian’s thin beige sheets and a tight pull to his tired muscles that he lets himself enjoy for the moment. The redhead isn’t smoking like him but instead has one arm propped beneath his head and the other resting on his stomach. There aren't any words going between them and Mickey is almost glad for it. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t have a lot on his mind since he had left Ian’s home a few days before. He’s thinking a lot about those feelings he’s come to admit to himself exists and what it actually means for him and his family...but more so, he's thinking about the conversation he had that morning with Nico on their way to school. 

_ Mickey could tell his son was deep in thought even if he hardly ever talked. Mickey knew when he was being ‘quiet’. “You okay, bud?” _

_ Nico glances at him quickly before refocusing on the sidewalk since he’s busy trying to not step on the lines and cracks. He nods absently which Mickey thinks is all he’s going to get until Nico asks, “Why do all the kids have moms aaaand dads?”  _

_ Mickey pauses on the middle of the sidewalk and it kind of causes Nico to stumble a bit because he’s still holding his father’s hand. Mickey stoops to his son’s level, “Kids giving you shit for only having a dad?”  _

_ Nico shrugs the way he does when he doesn’t want to say what has happened, Mickey shakes his shoulder a little, “Miss Joy asked about our families. Zoey and I said we only have daddies, and I said too I have an aunty. Denny started laughing because I don’t have a mommy.” _

_ Mickey bows his head and takes a deep breath before looking into those big blue eyes, “Look kid, not every kid has a mom and a dad, some only have a dad like you and some only have a mom. Some have two moms or two dads, and it’s all okay. I’ll talk to Miss Joy, okay?” _

_ Nico nods, leans into his dad and then straightens up to continue their journey to school and Mickey smiles at how easily his son just accepts what he tells him. _

“Was that not as good for you as it was for me?” Ian asks beside him. Mickey huffs and outs the cigarette in the tray beside the bed and he makes a mental note that it wasn’t always there but Ian had specifically placed it there because he knows Mickey likes an after sex cigarette. 

“Nah man, it was fucking fantastic.” Mickey kind of shuffles further down into the bed and he sees the way Ian smiles at him making himself comfortable instead of leaving right after their second round.

“What’s got you thinking so hard, huh?” Does friends with benefits include this? Talking? It's got to right? After all they did promise the friendship wouldn’t change.

“Zoey’s mom in the picture?” Mickey asks suddenly and he’s mentally kicks himself for his lack of tact. Ian stiffens beside him before looking over like he’s trying to read the room.

“No,” he says quietly, “she’s never been. She dropped Zoey off on my doorstep four years ago and left to go live in Florida. Signed off all her rights too. What about Nico’s mom?”

Mickey remains lying where he is when Ian sits up, grabs a cigarette from the pack beside Mickey and lights it. The brunette closes his eyes, “She uh...she died after she gave birth to Nico. That’s...when we left Chicago.”

“Fuck,” Ian whispers and even though his eyes are closed he feels Ian shift closer to him before he places a hand in Mickey’s hair like if he’s done it so many times before, “I’m sorry to hear that...were you two…?”

Mickey chuckles at that and lets his eyes open, “No, she pretended to be my girlfriend so Terry won’t be on my ass. The one night we slept together she got pregnant. We were good friends though...she loved him.”

“Who doesn’t,” and it makes Mickey smile when he hears the admiration in Ian’s voice when he talks about Nico like if the kid is his own, “what was she like?”

“A lot like him, actually. He reminds me so much of her even if he looks like me...she was a really fucking good person.” The room fell silent like they were both paying homage to Anna in their own way“ Some kid gave Nico and Zoey shit at school because they didn’t have moms...It bugged Nico so much that the kid actually asked.”

“Fucking kids...I swear they’re the worst bullies.” Ian sounded just as pissed as Mickey had felt when Nico told him, “Zoey didn’t even say anything.”

The room falls quiet again until Mickey asks, “Do you ever talk about her? Zoey’s mom? Does Zoey ever ask?”

“No, Zoey’s never asked, and until she does, I like to pretend Talia doesn’t exist.”

“Right,” because that wasn’t exactly the answer he was looking for, of course he wanted Nico to know about his mother but he didn’t exactly know how to just go about telling the kid that his mom died...wasn’t that too gruesome for a kid?

Ian seemed to notice that the dislike he felt toward the bio-mom of his baby wasn’t a feeling Mickey shared for his. So he turned propping his head on his hand and trailing a hand idly down Mickey’s torso. Mickey could feel the goosebumps rise on his skin, “Look, I know this isn’t the same thing, but with my bipolar disorder, I’ve learnt that it’s sometimes best to just be honest with a kid. Explain it as best as you can to them and answer whatever questions they may have. It develops trust and bond or some shit according to my therapist.”

Mickey looks over at Ian, letting the image of those dusted freckles and feathery red eyelashes sink into his brain, “Yeah?”

“Yeah, plus if Anna was a great as you say, and didn’t fucking abandon her kid on a doorstep, then he deserves to hear about her.”

Mickey thinks it over, and he feels his body start to react in ways it hadn’t before from casual conversation. And he realizes that  _ this,  _ this easy going, casual conversation, advice and comfort turned him on. It sparked something inside of Mickey to be able to share something like this with Ian and feel so normal about it. Ian seemed to notice the twitch of Mickey’s cock under the sheets and maybe he thinks it’s because of the hand he’s still idly tracing up and down Mickey’s torso. Either way, Mickey isn’t going to disclose the real reason he’s flagging a semi. 

Ian chuckles and slides lower down the bed licking at the juncture between Mickey’s neck and shoulder, “Agaaaiiin?” Mickey sings trying to save face a little.

“You don’t seem to be putting up much of an argument,” Ian laughs as he nods his head toward Mickey’s dick. 

“Get the fucking lube, bitch.”

***

There’s decent weather on Saturday so Mickey decides to take Nico to the park the way they did when they were back home. The sun isn’t exactly out and blazing but the air isn’t too cold and the sky isn’t too gloomy and for Chicago weather Mickey thinks it’s a win win. They’re sitting at a picnic table under a large oak tree as they share some sandwiches Mickey bought from a deli five minutes away because he heard Ian raving about them. Mickey absently watches the way Nico smooths the end of his wrapping paper constantly while he chews and looks around at the few people who are milling around the park playing with their dogs or kids. Every time he looks at those piercing blue eyes that looks so much like his own, or the soft blonde hair that blows easily in the wind, Mickey finds it almost impossible to believe that he once hated the idea of having a kid. 

He knows leaving Chicago with a newborn Nico was the best decision he could make for them both. He couldn’t imagine giving this sweet kind hearted boy the kind of childhood he once had growing up in that house of terrors. He’s glad he made all the choices he did but he wonders now, what it would be like if he stayed. His father wasn’t there anymore to wreak havoc on their lives and his brothers seemed to have disappeared or wound up in jail. It seems safe and even though Mickey’s happy with the life he’s built for them in Michigan, he can’t help but wonder. 

He wants to give his son the best life he possibly can, and Mandy’s here and the boy seems to love the idea of being around her. And he’s made a friend and Mickey thinks that maybe he could stay. It’s not like they had a Dari to go back to anyway.

Nico’s eyes slightly fill with tears and it’s the thing that makes Mickey snap out of his thoughts as he follows the line of sight of his son. He’s watching a couple some distance away playing with their two kids. The dad is lifting the younger one while the mom holds the older’s hand and they look so in love and happy.

“Hey bud,” Mickey says to get his son’s attention. He looks over at Mickey with those big blue eyes and Mickey hates to see the way the redden at the corner when he’s about to cry, “You know, your mom really loved you. And...if she could have been here for you she would.”

“Where’d she go?” Nico just stares at him.

“Well, when you were a baby, she got really sick. And the doctors did everything they could to help her, but it didn’t work and she … she died, bud.” Nico kind of nods like he gets it and then he tilts his head like he’s really thinking it through.

“So will I get a new Mommy?”

Mickey recalls how easily his son had accepted what he’d told him about different families that morning on their way to school and he thinks,  _ this is why I left Chicago _ , because if he hadn’t, he wouldn’t have been able to teach Nico about all the different kinds of love. And definitely wouldn’t have been able to look his son in the eye and say, “Well, I like men, kid. So maybe another dad?”

Nico grins at him and nods and grabs the last piece of his sandwich and stuffs his mouth with it before giggling around it. And Mickey knows, whether he chooses to stay or go, they’ll be okay.

  
  
  



	12. She's Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He rests a hand on Mickey’s arm and it’s too warm compared to the rest of the room. Mickey meets his big brown eyes. The guy is wearing a police uniform. Mickey hadn’t known he was an officer. “You want to tell me what happened? It’s just a formality.”
> 
> “She’s dead.” He says it and a static chill runs down his back. His tattooed fingers press harshly into his eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is doing well and keeping safe. This chapter was going to be one extremely long one but when I got to where I ended it, it felt best to split it up. I'm working on Chapter 13 so hopefully I can get that posted soon. If anyone is reading my Enemies to Lovers, Christmas fic I'll be updating that super soon like maybe today or tomorrow lol.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Note: the chunk of italics text is a flashback.

Her skin used to be pale and spotless like perfectly shined porcelain. Even in her last days the rosy hue of her cheeks never seemed to fade and her blue eyes still seemed to warm. Even when they became still, unmoving and staring into an abyss they’d never return from. Sometimes, if Mickey sits perfectly still and breathes in deep enough, he swears he could still smell her faintly floral perfume. Maybe even hear her low and soft voice. 

That morning when he woke up, exactly two months since he’d returned to Chicago, Mickey was sure he smelt her. He glances at the clock on the bedside table and it reads just after ten in the morning. He feels confused for a moment. He shouldn’t have slept in this late. It’s Friday, Nico still has to get to school. Then the pieces all fall into place and Mickey remembers Mandy saying she’d drop the kid off to school. That he should take the day off to rest.

He remembers his sister having this look in her eye when she said that she’d pick him up too. Like she was sorry for him. Like she was easing him up for something heavier. He rubs his fingers harshly into his eyes until he sees stars then twists his neck every which way it can until he hears the satisfying crack. His eyes peel open once more as he reads the date on the clock. And no matter how much he tried to prepare himself all week, he still felt that knot in his stomach as the bile crept up his oesophagus, just like it had a year before.

***

The week had been a simple one for Ian. He’d mostly been at home since his boss Rita told him that he had a lot of backed-up furlough that he needed to take before he wore himself thin. The redhead found himself being extremely bored with the time he spent at home alone and wound up cleaning the house top to bottom. The part that seemed most frustrating to Ian was that just when he thought he and Mickey were probably going somewhere further than friends with benefits the black haired man pulled away. There had only been a few random texts that didn’t amount to anything. There hadn’t been any spontaneous meet ups for sex, no casual jokes between the two like Ian enjoyed and probably looked forward to the most during his days. Instead there were spaced out replies and an agreement to a sleepover for the kids. Ian’s laying on his couch just after lunch on Friday when he picks his phone up and reads through the thread of messages he has with Mickey.

**Ian** _(Monday 3:00pm)_ : I’m being forced to take furlough =( What the heck am I going to do?

Ian was kind of expecting a playful jab at him for hating being off work and maybe a slightly flirtatious innuendo that he’d be doing Mickey.

**Mickey** _ (Monday 10:00pm) _ : Fucking lucky. Long day. I’m about to crash. G’nite.

**Ian** _ (Wednesday 2:00pm) _ : Zoey’s been nagging about a sleepover with Nico. How about Friday after school? 

Ian wanted Mickey to be excited or suggest that he too would stay over.

**Mickey** _(Thursday 3:00pm)_ : Sounds like a plan. You can pick him up Friday at my place.

Ian’s at a loss for what he could have possible done wrong. Mickey was the one who seemed open to talking that night. He seemed comfortable and easy going. Ian hates that he’s sitting in his sweatpants on his couch with a big bag of potato chips feeling like he once again was the one who pushed the limits. He took a deep breath, got up and decided that he didn’t do anything wrong. He didn’t push the black haired man too hard. In fact, Mickey needed him, seemed like he needed support in some way and Ian did that. If Mickey wanted to be this way then fuck him. 

Ian quickly showered and left for the supermarket to gather the ingredients for a nice home cooked meal he’d planned to do for the kids and to make sure they also had snacks. Ian pauses for a moment with his hand on the handle of his car door, and he smiles.  _ The kids.  _ He likes the way that sounds. He wants that with Mickey. In the little bit of time he’s known Mickey and Nico he thinks he’s grown to love the kid. He likes how close he is with Zoey. Maybe Ian was wrong for dreaming up these things when Mickey had seemed so specific about the things he expected from their arrangement. He couldn’t help it, he wanted the other man in all the ways he could ever have him and Ian was suddenly mad with himself and Mickey. Himself, because he shouldn’t have let it get this far when he knew how he felt. Mickey, because why the fuck did Mickey insist they be just friends. Maybe Mickey realised how Ian felt for him that weekend and maybe he was just trying to extricate himself from the arrangement without hurting Ian because  _ maybe _ Mickey just didn’t feel the same way. 

***

By the time Ian gets to the school, Zoey informs him that Nico had already gone home with a pretty thin woman who looked just like Mr Mickey. “Dad, she was soooooo pretty. Like a princess.”

“I’m sure she was, baby girl. I’ve got to drop off a couple of your old baby clothes for Franny but we can go over and get Nico after. How does that sound?”

“Good.” she shrugs and skips the few feet over to their car. Ian takes one last look around the playground hoping to catch a glimpse of Mickey who might have shown up late. He assumes the mystery woman is Mickey’s sister, but for as long as he’s known Mickey, the other man has never had his sister get Nico after school.

**Ian** : heading over to my sister’s to drop some things off, will swing by for Nico in ten minutes

He doesn’t get a response so he slips his phone back into his pocket and gets into the driver’s seat after ensuring Zoey was strapped into her car seat. The entire way to Fiona’s Ian is half listening to what his daughter has to say about what she learnt that day and by the time he’s parking his car outside his childhood home, he feels bad for being distracted but he’s worried he’s overstepped some kind of way. 

He doesn’t let Fiona drag them in for dinner like she always tries to do and when he gets to the Milkovich apartment and knocks with his free hand that isn’t holding Zoey’s, he’s hoping it’s Mickey who swings the door open. 

It wasn’t.

Zoey wasn’t quite kidding when she said Mickey’s sister was pretty. She had pin-straight stark black hair with bangs that hung low onto her forehead, a few strands coming down into her eyes. Her eyes were a carbon copy of her brother’s, baby blue with specs of indigo and teal. If Ian was a straight man who actually looked at other women, he would have sworn that she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever met. “Ian right?” she asks in a brash way but it didn’t make Ian feel put off because she sounded exactly like he thought she would.

“Hey, is Mickey around? We’re here to pick Nico up.” Ian knows there is that fucking hopeful look in his eyes and he knows Mandy sees it. She gets this look like she feels sorry for him when she flashes a sad smile and shakes her head, “No, he’s out but I’ve got the little man all ready.” She looks into the house and calls out to Nico who comes running out with one side of his shoes held high in the year. 

“Zoeeyyy! Aunt Mandy, I can’t find my other shoe.” Mandy rolls her eyes in a loving way, “Why don’t you guys come in while I help him get his stuff?” Ian nods and enters the apartment and takes a look around the space. “How is it you always lose the same side?” Mandy asks her nephew as she follows him into what Ian assumes is the bedroom. They come out shortly to meet the two Gallaghers who are still awkwardly standing in the entryway. 

“So here’s my number,” Mandy says handing over a scrap of paper, “If you need anything and you can’t get through to my brother, don’t hesitate to give me a call.” She ruffles the boy’s hair and then kisses his head before giving him a stern warning about being on his best behaviour.

When Ian secures both kids into their seats, he’s thrown for a loop at the turn of events, he certainly hadn’t expected Mickey to not be home. If anything Ian had assumed that a sleepover was a big step for someone like Mickey who had spent every night with his kid since he was born. He sighs dejectedly and brushes off the thoughts of Mickey’s elusiveness, he now had two kids in his care and he couldn’t afford to be distracted.

***

Darina was his mother’s entire world, even after she’d had kids. From the little Mickey picked up over the years, he’d come to the conclusion that when shit got fucked in Ukraine, his mother had gathered what little she had at age sixteen, her four year old baby sister and did what she had to in order to get them the fuck out. Dari had been there, a fixture in his life from the moment he came into the world. His mother doted on her when she wasn’t high or nursing whatever new bruise his father had given her that week. He was only a mere six years old when Dari had left but he remembers something about her standing up to his dad and him calling her liar. 

He hadn’t known what had happened to her until he’d met her in that diner eleven years later and boy did she remind him of his mother. Only she was kinder, more thoughtful. He’d grown attached to her quickly and she simply was the older sister she once was to him. She looked after them. He hadn’t trusted anyone else with Nico. Not until now. 

“Can I get you anything?” the rail thin bartender asked with the most unimpressed look on his face.

“Another beer and a shot of your cheapest tequila.” he answered dryly before draining his glass empty. It was already 3:30 in the afternoon which meant Ian had probably already stopped by the house for Nico. He doesn’t have long to think about his son because another drink is being placed in front of him and he quickly knocks it back. He’s had enough thinking for one day.

* _ One Year Earlier _ *

_ The house was too cold for Mickey’s liking. Nico was pressed to his side as the paramedics flitted into their home. Nico kept twisting the corner of Mickey’s sweater and looking around while the red and blue lights blinked around the living room through the sheer curtains. _

_ “Sir, can you tell us what happened?” there’s a woman who keeps trying to ask him questions and he wonders what it’s going to take her to figure out that he just doesn’t want to fucking talk.  _

_ “Sir?” There's a guy who joins them in the living room and Mickey vaguely remembers him. He thinks he might be the guy who dates that girl from the diner just down the street. It’s a small neighbourhood and he’s pretty sure they’ve exchanged pleasantries once or twice before.  _

_ “Mickey? It’s me David, Hannah’s boyfriend. Are you okay?” He rests a hand on Mickey’s arm and it’s too warm compared to the rest of the room. Mickey meets his big brown eyes. The guy is wearing a police uniform. Mickey hadn’t known he was an officer. “You want to tell me what happened? It’s just a formality.” _

_ “She’s dead.” He says it and a static chill runs down his back. His tattooed fingers press harshly into his eyes, “We came home and she was dead. She...she has-had cancer.”  _

_ David nods and he squeezed Mickey’s arm, “Is there anyone I can call for you?”  _

_ He shakes his head because there’s no one. He’s already tried his sister with no success. They’re all alone.  _

***

“Tell me, what troubles you kid?” He doesn’t know exactly when there was a shift change of bartenders but a heavyweight brunette woman slides a fresh beer to replace his already empty one.

“Not my fuckin’ therapist.” he sips the beer slowly this time.

“Aren’t I though? All bartenders are basically therapists. What’s got a good looking guy like you getting drunk at a bar all alone at this hour on a Friday?” He doesn’t answer her but she doesn’t seem put off by rudeness, “Your girlfriend broke up with you?” 

He snorts bitterly. “Boyfriend, then?”

He sighs loudly and meets her eyes, “My sister died.”

“Shit. I’m sorry man. You need me to call anyone?”

He sniffs loudly and takes the shot she slides toward him, “She didn’t die today...today is a year since she died. Fucking cancer.” 

Her cold hands hold his briefly, “I’m sorry, I know what that’s like. Lost my husband four years ago.”

He gives her a tight smile and mutters his condolences. “It gets better, kid, even if you think it won’t.”

***

Ian had played tea party with the kids, served them a home cooked meal he’d learnt from the internet and then cuddled up on the sofa with a kid on each side of him to watch Finding Dory. Zoey had her stuffed bunny tucked under her arm and leaned heavily into her father’s ribs while Nico hesitantly inched closer and closer until Ian lifted his arm and let him curl into his side. He’d texted Mickey once before getting Nico and another time to let him know that Nico was having a good time and he shouldn’t worry with an attached photo of both kids grinning while they held their tea cups up. He was beginning to grow worried so he picked his phone off his lap and sent a text to the other man.

**Ian:** Kids are watching a movie but I can tell they’re gonna crash soon. If you want to call Nico to say goodnight, you should now.

Ian wasn’t entirely surprised when he hadn’t received a response an hour later. The both kids had fallen asleep quickly, and Ian extricated himself from between them to get them both to Zoey’s room. He tucked them both in pressed a kiss to their heads and left the room. He paused in the doorway and smiled to himself. As much as his mind was elsewhere worrying about the Milkovich man, Ian had enjoyed his night with the children and he could only wish for more to come. He headed out into the kitchen and packed the leftovers into some tupperware and into the fridge. He moved quickly to tidy the kitchen and living area. He was tired and just ready for bed and he knew the longer he was awake, the longer he’d spend sending annoying text messages to Mickey who clearly had no interest in speaking to Ian. 

When he had finished showering, brushing his teeth and slipping into some cozy pajamas he headed to his room. There was a knock at the front door while he was busy peeling back his sheets. He furrowed his brow and grabbed the baseball bat that leaned against the doorframe when he decided to go investigate. He didn’t have a peephole so he took a steadying breath and yanked the door open with the bat ready to swing if he had to. 

“Mickey?” he quickly leaned the bat next to the door at the sight of the man who definitely looked worse for wear. “Mickey, are you okay?”

The brunette looked up with red swollen heavy eyes and shook his head. Tears welled up in his eyes and he bit down onto his bottom lip. “Mick?”

“She’s dead, Ian.” he sighed and fell into Ian’s arms, “She’s dead.”


End file.
